Hello Again

Chapter One

     I looked around at the dirty, dingy apartment that I live in. I hate this; this isn't the life I imagined I would be living five years ago. I thought I would at least have a better apartment, and definitely in a nicer neighborhood; much nicer than this hell hole.

The only thing that got me through the days was music, and my little boy James. But I call him Jim, Jimmy, or sometimes when I'm being funny or silly, Jimbo; he really gets a kick out of that. I really wish I could give Jimmy a better life, nicer home, more toys, etc. But what I can't give him in materialistic things, I make up for in motherly love.

Yeah, yeah, I know what the big question you're all probably wondering about, "What happened to the father?" Well, he was a high school lover. I tried to forget as much as possible (and succeeded) because he left as soon as he found out I was pregnant. I thing his name starts with a C... Chris...? Collin...? Charlie...? Craig. It was Craig, but that's all I remember about him. At least, that's all I'm going to let myself remember.

I decided to cook breakfast. I turned on an old Escape the Fate CD as I started to make a little bit of scrambled eggs and toast. It's not much, but it's something. I was just about finished when I heard Jimmy's feet pounding as he bounded through the hallway.

"Mama!" he cried as he ran through the short hallway and into the kitchen. I picked him up and spun him around in a circle. Jimmy laughed hysterically as he put his arms out like superman. His ride quickly ended as I put him in his chair at the table and set his plate in front of him as well as a napkin and a cup of orange juice. The four year old dug into his eggs; he ate quickly, like many children do when they are filled with excitement.

Today was Jimmy's first day of preschool, and boy was he excited. He could not wait to meet the other children and finally have other people to play with. Part of me, the mothering side of me, was upset by that. Not because the possibility of me being "replaced" or him growing up, but because I know that sometimes he gets lonely with it being just me and him. That was just another reason why I felt I was lacking in some departments of motherhood. But I know that even though he didn't have anyone else but me for four years, he got plenty of love, and I tried my best to play with him like any other child would.

"Let's go get you dressed for your first day of preschool buddy! Are you excited?" I grabbed his dishes off the table and brought them to the sink while Jimmy bolted out of his chair to his room. I followed after him and found him digging through his dresser. He pulled out a toddler sized band t-shirt for Falling In Reverse. I pulled out his underpants, jeans, socks, and his black vans. I slipped him into his clothes and combed through his light brown hair. I changed into my clothes, picked up my keys, wallet, and Jimmy's backpack with spare clothes in case of any accidents, and then we were off.