Adam is just another college student and about the nerdiest guy you could ever meet.
All his life, he's never been able to act sociably around anyone, especially women.
But after Adam leaves one of the biggest parties of the year, he drinks a potion...
"It's not what it looks like?" she says. She jumps from her bed and her long legs cascade toward me. "It's not what it looks like! Are you serious?"
"W-well. I-I can totally explain this-" I begin, unable to get one coherent sentence out of my mouth.
"No. I'll explain." she cuts me off. "I was in my room, MY room, sleeping. And then I hear a big bang come from MY floor. I wake up and I see a guy dressed in all black laid out on MY bedroom floor. Which means one of two things, you're either here to rob me or rape me and neither of them is good. So, Mr. Window guy, I don't want to hear what you have to say. All I know is that I want you out of my freaking house!"
Before I can respond or even think of a response to a question like that, I hear footsteps hit the ground upstairs. They become louder as they draw near. Suddenly, Gigi's door bursts open and a hurdle of women holding sticks, hair dryers, and even an avocado come barging in. Eyes alert and bodies ready.
"What is it, Gigi? What's wrong?" a brunette screams. Her hair in a tangled mess and lipstick smeared across her face. She was dressed in nothing but her underwear which leads me to believe that she also had company in her room tonight.
"Thank God you guys are here!" Gigi gushes as she runs towards her herd of barbie dolls. "This freak" ouch "broke into my room and tried to rape me!"
"I did no such thing!" I remark. I wasn't even anywhere near her, let alone was I trying to get in her pants . . . even though that is my ultimate goal.
"It's okay!"
"We're here, Gigi."
"We won't let that Cooger hurt you!"
"Do you even know what a Cooger is?"
All around me, voices bounce on and off the walls, each growing until they suddenly all become one. Submerged in a state of incoherency.
"WILL EVERYBODY JUST SHUT UP!" Gigi screams. Her voice overpowers everyone else's, like it was easy. The other girls' attention are quickly transfixed back to her. "Thank you. Now, help me move his body."
*~*~*
I thought she was going to kill me. Like, I really thought that she was going to kill me! When someone says the words "move" and "body" together, it usually means that you're either about to have a dance party or get your ass dragged and buried underground. Hell, I think I'd prefer death. But this . . . this was a whole other level.
The girls really moved my body. They yanked me from my frozen state in Gigi's room, hurled me down the stairs and outside, and tied me up to their tree . . . using my own duct tape. They even put it on my mouth and scrawled the words RAPIST onto my forehead. And then they just left me hanging as they sashayed back into their comfy beds inside their comfy home and went back to comfy sleep.
As you can imagine, Steve and his sidekick were already gone. They drove off as soon as they saw my body being dragged across the front lawn. So what if I was just another one of their slaves. Did they really have to leave me hanging here to die?
But I also wasn't stupid. Steve was smarter than I thought he was. He knew I was going to get caught and he knew that the girls would also seek revenge. He screwed me over by not only causing me humiliation, but he ruined any chance I had with Gigi. I probably wasn't even going to be able to go the party! He played me, and he was damn good at it.
I've been chilling out here for 2 hours already. The sun is starting to come back and people are going to see me hanging on a tree. The worst part is that they're not even going to help me down. They're going to take pictures and spread it all over their social media. Then they're going to walk away and forget that I ever existed.
It's the sad truth of the world. Nobody cares, or will ever care, about a guy like me. A guy like me is meant to be alone, cold, and a virgin until the day he dies. And that day may come sooner than I expected it to.
I close my eyes and lean my head against the cold bark of the tree. I was completely exhausted. Wind slashed onto my face and hands, the only warm part being my torso due to the extra layers of duct tape.
I guess I really couldn't be mad. I did this. And I did it for a girl who tied me up to a tree. I can't believe that I'm such a loser. All hail Adam More: Failure of the Century.
"Um . . . hi!" a female voice speaks. Her voice is soft, but cheerful, and masked with the tiniest bit of a slur.
I open my eyes only to meet a mousy figure. She had short hair that only clipped her ears. Her olive skin tone sat well with her brown hair and the smile on her face emphasized the freckles that sat on her nose and cheeks. She was also wearing bunny ears which I thought was pretty weird at this time of day.
"So, ya just . . . hanging or something?" I notice her pun and I'd probably have laughed, you know, if I wasn't the actual one hanging. I murmur against the duct tape but my voice is unclear. "Oh right, I should probably take that off of you." She reaches out, leaning on the tips of her toes as she peels the tape off. Despite the tingly pain of the hairs around my mouth being pulled off, the touch of her warm hand against my cheek is soothing. I can feel my face start to thaw.
"Thanks." I say once she's done peeling it off. My voice is shakier and raspier than normal.
"No problem." she smiles. "Helping peel off duct tape from people's mouths is just something I do. I'm Cheryl by the way."
"Adam." I reply. The cold air against my lungs is getting harder to bear. "So, C-cheryl, y-you want to get me down? I-If you could that would be great, or if y-you don't want to that's f-fine too. I'm t-totally not pressuring you or anything because, uh, you're free to live your l-life your way and stuff and, you know, I-I was just wondering."
She laughs. Her breath leaves a cloud of smoke in the air. It sails forward before dispersing into thin air. Though her breath was no longer visible it never disappeared. Probably soaked into the bark of the tree I was currently tied to.
"You're cute!" she smiles. "And I would totally love to help you, but, since you're strapped to the tree of the place I currently live in I can only assume that the Kappa girls did this to you. And being part of the Sorority and all, letting you down would get me on their bad side and that would be complete hell. So sorry, I won't let you down. Thanks for asking."
I was actually pretty stunned by her answer. What kind of person says no to someone who is literally plastered on a tree? But I guess it's my fault. I told her that she didn't need to. God, I'm so bad at talking to girls!
She suddenly leans closer to me until her lips are pressed against my ear. "But don't worry. I'll call a buddy and tell him to get you down. You can thank me later."
She spins on her heels and begins to gallop and twirl towards the house. "See you around, Adam!" She calls, leaving me to hang.
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