These Hands-One Shot

One Shot- These Hands

The ghost of his last laugh faded into the veil of silvery smoke. Emotions and feelings mixed in my head clouding my vision and blocking out the battle taking place behind me. I yelled in fear, in anger, and in pain; Not the type of physical pain that fades almost as quick as it comes. This was the pain that lives and breathes with you up until the day you die, created only by losing someone close to you.
Her laugh echoed behind me, and I grasped my wand to the breaking point. Lupin thought he was helping me by holding me back from doing something he knew I would regret, but at that time, nothing would have given me greater pleasure than killing Bellatrix Lestrange and avenging my godfather.
I broke free of Lupin's grasp and sprinted around the corner, my heart pounding louder than my feet on the hard brick surface. Bellatrix was just a few feet in front of me, turning around and shooting curses at me over her shoulder while running. Her aim was terribly off, and I saw the flashes of light fall to the sides of me, but was completely unaffected by any of them.
"Come to kill me little Harry?" Bellatrix sneered.
Anger surged up from inside of me. I needed to make her feel the pain that she had caused. She needed to know what it felt like to have your world torn apart, like when she tore apart mine.
"Crucio!" I screamed.
Bellatrix collapsed to the ground with her head in her hands, but only for a moment. In a blink of an eye she was back on her feet with a smirk on her face and her black hair wildly flowingーgiving her the appearance of a madman, which wasn't that far from the truth.
"What was that Harry? You need to have the want to torture someone dead and to enjoy ever second of watching it!" Bellatrix's eyes seemed to pop out as she shrieked with laughter, "Aw, poor Harry.... Lost his mommy and daddy and now his godfather too. Pretty soon everyone who loves you will be dead! Now wouldn't that be something!"
Bellatrix continued to laugh as I felt a hatred so strong, I began to think of two simple words, just two words to end at least a part of this internal torture.
Aveda Kedavra. Come on, just say the spell. Just say it and it will be over, it will end it all. Just say it. Aveda Kedavra.
"Aveー" I started, but couldn't muster the strength to finish what I had intended to say. An image of Sirius had appeared in my head at that precise moment. What would he have thought if he had discovered his godson had murdered someone? I knew he wouldn't want me to become a killer because of his death.
But it's not like I could ask Sirius myself what he would think, thanks to Bellatrix , I thought bitterly. Suddenly, the pain of losing him hit me for a second time. I saw the image of Sirius falling through the veil of silvery substance and I saw the light leave his eyes. And then, I let the darkness possess me. All that I felt that night rushed to my head, as I was engulfed in shadow.
Bellatrix stared at me, a sudden fear sparking her eyes. She reached for her wand, but before she could grasp it I shouted,"Petrificus Totalus!"
I was standing over Bellatrix, who was now on her back, unable to move. I didn't want to show her mercy; the darkness inside me was burning to be let out. I couldn't bear it anymore, I needed to let it out, I had to.
My wand was pointed directly above Bellatrix's nose, this time there was hardly a hesitation.
"Aveda Kedavra!" I yelled. There was no pleasure, no relief, in watching Bellatrix's body go limp and seeing her heaving chest grow still after the flash of green light illuminated the room.
It was almost as if I just woke up out of dream. I found myself standing there, wand in my hand, dead body by my feet, and those two cursed words still burning on my lips. The hatred I had felt seconds ago was gone, replaced by a feeling of regret and fear.
I stared at my dirty, blood-covered hands. I didn't recognize them because they weren't mine. Couldn't be mine. These were the hands of a monster, a murderer.
But, after my decision a few minutes ago, I had become both of these things. I had let the darkness take over.
Those handsーthe hands of a killer, had become my hands.
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Hey! I'm Steph and this is my first piece of writing on here. I just wanted to start with a little one shot before I committed to doing a larger fanfic. Let me know what you guys think about this and be sure to comment and tell me what I can improve upon! I know it's not the most interesting plot for a one shot, but I wanted to experiment with a small detail in the books that would change the course of the series.
So... Let me know what you think and stay tuned for a fanfic real soon! Thank you guys!