Crop

CHAPTER SEVEN

At 1:00pm I was in my room editing some pictures when I heard a tink come from behind me. I ignored it until I heard another one. Then another one. I got up and as I walked toward my window a bunch of pebbles skittered across the glass at once. I looked down and saw Anton. I smiled at him and ran down to the door, opening it with an out-of-breath laugh.

"Why didn't you just knock?"

"That's so...normal. How was I supposed to make a grand entrance by knocking?" he joked. He came inside the house and looked around, noticing how quiet is was. "No one's home?"

"Just me. Zuri and Sabian are at school. Soul and Pexi are at work."

"Cool. So I was thinking I could take you somewhere."

"Somewhere in particular?"

"The forest. I thought we could visit our tree."

"Okay." I smile. "Just let me grab my camera and a blanket and we'll be on our way."

As we walk to the forest, I watch Anton's hand out of the corner of my eye and can't help but think about what Prue said. Has he kissed you yet? Held your hand? I wonder if I should tell him I've talked to her. As far as he knows, I don't even know her name. How would he react?

"Anton?"

"Yeah?"

"Do I make you happy?" Part of me thinks I should have asked him something deeper, something that will determine our relationship like "do you like me?" but I'm too afraid of the answer. The entire reason I don't ask deeper questions is because they determine relationships.

He puts his arm around my shoulders. "Why the doubt?"

I am silent. I don't know what to say. I don't even know where I was going with this. I guess I just need reassurance and I don't want to ask for it. I sigh.

"What's going on?" he asks.

"I don't know. I just..." I push my hair back behind my ear. "I don't know."

"The wedding is soon. Are you excited?" he asks.

"Yeah." I nod.

When we get to the tree I lay the blanket out and we sit down. "Did you take me here for a particular reason?"

"I just wanted to hang out with you and be with you." he replies. "And I like this place." He puts his finger on the tree trunk. "Look at this."

I turn around to find "A + Z" etched into the bark, about the size of a fist. I smile at him and run my fingers over it. "Did you do this?"

"Yeah, I had some free time." he smiles back at me. He looks into my eyes and for a second I think he's about to lean in and kiss me. Maybe he's afraid. Maybe that's why he hasn't made a move yet. I lean in a little. He leans in a little as well. I lean in a little more. He looks down, dropping my gaze and sitting back.

"What? Why?" I verbalize, frustration in my voice. I sit back. "Why won't you kiss me?"

"Zyarr." He looks scared.

"Do you even like me?"

"Zyarr! Yes, I like you!" His eyes turn shiny and he darts for one of my hands, holding it in both of his hands like a precious possession. "I like you." he repeats, holding my gaze strong.

I shake my head."Why won't you kiss me?"

He continues to stare at me with a look of terror on his face. "I'm just...I'm not ready. Please don't hate me. Please understand."

I am silent for a few seconds. My face softens. "Okay." I finally say, quietly.

He squeezes my hand. I give him a little smile and lean closer, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek. He'll come around. He gives me a hopeful smile. His phone buzzes and he lets go off my hand. I feel the cold wind wrapping around it.

"Sorry, this might be important." he says and looks at the device. I watch him as he skims over it and types a reply. He looks at it a little longer, biting his lower lip and then typing another message. He puts his phone down and looks at me.

"Good thing I got it. I have to go."

I frown.

"I'm sorry." As he stands up I grab his wrist. He freezes. I slide my hand in to his and link fingers with him.

"Do you have to go?"

"If I don't, someone will be mad at me."

"Your best friend?" I guess.

He nods hesitantly. 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"At supper you told my roommates that you were going through a crisis and didn't want to get me involved, but be honest, I'm right in the middle of it, aren't I? I'm in the middle of whatever is going on."

 After a moment he kisses my hand before letting go of it and leaving. The feeling of annoyance returns as I gather up my blanket and go home.