Beneath the Snow

Chapter 1

It took me give or take 150 years after the death of my husband to grow bitter with my eternal prison sentence. I tried ending my life, only to learn that it was impossible. I tried filling the void with several different things; alcohol, men, women, drugs, they didn't bother me, because I knew I was in no danger. People tried to befriend me, to help the poor mess of a vagrant gather her shit together and get a life. They didn't realize, of course, that I had already lived a life, lived past my children, watched my grandchildren age and have kids of their own and for those kids to have kids of their own. They just saw me as this poor girl having a mid-youth crisis and slowly giving away her soul to other people.

A baker took me in during my time of sorrow. I hardly said a word to him for weeks, too deep inside myself, too buried in a never ending panic that threatened to swallow me whole. He never pushed me to spill my life story, to explain myself. He was just there, like the father I desperately missed, who had passed over a hundred years ago. He is the earliest person I currently remember in my life clearly, the memory of how his salt and pepper beard tickled my face when he kissed my forehead like I was his own child. Little did he know, I was four times his age. But while staying there, I learned to forget who I was, and even took on some responsibilities in his bakery. He taught me how to make bread his way, claiming it was his family recipe, but that he would make one exception. I still remember how to make that bread, I could make it for you now if you so asked, but the bread isn't as important as the baker himself. If he hadn't taken me in, I wouldn't be here. Not that I would have died, obviously that's not a possibility, but I would still be staying in that cheap inn, passing out in alleys like I had when he found me. I may be immortal and immune to disease, but I can still get absolutely smashed for some reason.

The reason I am starting here is because when he died, I made an oath in blood to him. That I would never lose myself like I had before he had taken me in, and I have only broken that oath once to this day. I admit, I was very broken when I lost him a mere twenty years after I found him, but he had renewed me. He led me down the path I am now on, which is both good and bad, I guess. But, I am using my ability for at least a small shred of good.

Ten years after the baker, I started searching for a purpose, so that I would not break that oath. I wish it had scarred as a reminder, but immediately after I cut open my palm to take the oath, the wound had closed up. Weird immortal crap. Nevertheless, I continued on, traveling around the world, meeting several different people I considered staying with, but I never felt like they were enough. I may have... broken some hearts to stay on my course, but I still stayed on my course.

One thing I knew upfront was that I wasn't a good person. That was plain enough. Sometimes I wondered if this "gift" had been bestowed upon me as punishment. I also wondered if I'd ever find anyone who could ever love me again like I had loved long ago in a distant memory, before discovering my immortality. My doubt clouded any hope of finding anyone; my soul had long since been purged of any good. I was capable of compassion, but that capability dwindled each decade. I was tired of existing, simple as that.

Then I met her. Bright brown eyes and a wicked smile, she blew into my life like a tornado, tearing it apart and putting it back together. We met in a roadside bar nearer to the end of the 20th century, 1983 I believe. I was about to begin another round of "how much can I drink until I black out and wake up somewhere different" when she walked into the bar, sitting right next to me. I remember her first words to me like they were yesterday.

"You had to realize the world would catch on after awhile," she said with a harsh American accent. I took a sip of my drink, not even looking at her, not caring at all what was about to be said.

"Catch on to what?" I responded smoothly, with centuries of confrontation under my belt.

"Don't play dumb. We just want to know what you are." I finally looked at her then, wondering who she meant when she said "we". It could mean humanity, as earlier used, or a specific group or government. All I knew was that I was ready to fight my way out if I needed to, because I was not getting locked in a cage somewhere to be tested on.

"What do you mean what I am? I'm just a waitress at the diner down the street, nothing more." I downed the last bit of whiskey for the evening and then looked her full in the eyes.

"I don't mean any harm, I'm just curious," she said with an innocent smile. But I could already tell she wasn't as pure as the smile might suggest.

"Well you know what they say," I started with a smirk, artfully putting on my black leather jacket, then dropping my smirk to a colder look to scare the girl. "Curiosity killed the cat."

Her face suggested nothing but she held my cold look, longer than most in the past had. I turned my back to her and stalked out of the bar, out the side door. Knowing I really had nowhere to go and nothing better to do, I decided to wait outside the bar and follow the girl out of curiosity of where she was coming from. It wasn't like curiosity could kill me. 

It was only a couple minutes of standing in the dark spot on the side of the bar for the girl to come out alone, surprisingly. She shoved her hands in her pocket upon meeting the chill of the winter and hesitated outside of the door. I knew she noticed me, but I didn't particularly care. Actually, I somewhat wanted to fight the girl, amongst all my feeling sorry for myself.

"Were you going to follow me home?" She asked, still avoiding looking at me.

"Do you blame me?" I retorted. I took a step out from the shadow into the light cast from the bar, a few yards away from the girl. She finally turned to look at me.

"Not really, I was kind of blunt."

"Sure."

"I actually came to ask you for something." That confused me, as the girl barely knew me. I didn't even know her name, let alone where she came from. I can't deny that it sent a frightening thrill through me.

"Really?"

"It's a serious task, but it might give you some purpose to your miserable life."

"Oh, thanks." She reached into her jacket and pulled out a plain white envelope, packed to the point it almost wouldn't seal shut. On the front was a crest, with a simple raven in the middle.

"Solve this, then we'll talk again." And then she began to walk away, without offering to answer any of the millions of questions I had.

I yelled after her, "Who says I even want this?"

"No one, we just had a hunch you might be willing to help out." A white car with tinted windows quickly approached and she hopped in. It sped away, taking her with it, and vanishing out of sight.