In Essence

Chapter 1:

    I could think of nothing else as the smoke escaped from my lungs swirling in rings and loops up into the air. Divorce. My parents.. The whole situation chilled me to the bone. It wasn't as if it were a big problem for me. I have been living on my own for two years now, but thinking that my whole childhood happiness had been a lie, makes me want to puke. How long had they known this was going to happen? Why does it seem like I was the only one clueless? Even my best friend was not surprised at this news..

    Another hit. My mother wants me to testify against my father for moments, I can barely remember. The childhood memories that were happy, are all that exist. I had shoved every other thought out of my head to the point nothing else exists besides bliss. My father. The only person who's true acceptance I never received, How on earth am I supposed to do this.

    I took a deep breath, smoking away my problems won't solve anything for me. It never has, I don't know why I still do it. I reprimanded myself as I emptied the bowl and proceeded to blow out the resin. Why did I have to be brought into all of this? I get it, I'm their daughter, but I've moved on in my life. As far away from their problematic lifestyle as possible.

    "Zoey?" My roommates faint voice crept up the stairs.

    "Coming!" I called, almost choking on the air. Since I hadn't been around any life forms besides my cat, and my voice was a bit rusty.

    I grappled for a tee-shirt and a somewhat clean pair of shorts from down the side of the bed, and threw them on. Pulling my fingers through my long red hair. It'll just have to do. I shrugged to myself before making my appearance.

    Clarissa had already begin to make dinner in the minute it took for me to make my way down the stairs, being the chef she was. It was quite a surprise that it was only hamburger helper. A small wave of disappointment washed over me. But, not my choice. 

    "Where have you been?" I asked, masking my worry with nonchalance.

    "Dean had the apartment to himself! I couldn't help myself!" She began to gush. "We 'netflixed and chilled'" She said as she giggled. Ew. Really.

    "Sounds like it was well worth it huh? Was he any good?" I didn't care the topic. Human contact is the thing that I crave most.

    "Yes!! I'm in so much pain!" She imitated her legs giving out. "We also went to eat at that new restaurant, Tina's? It was great!!"

     I couldn't help but roll my eyes and smile at her childlike persona. "Oh and Zoey! I have met someone that can help you dream again!"

    "I obviously am sleeping well if I am not dreaming, It's not that big of a concer--"

    "How are you going to imagine being with some hottie if you cant dream??" She cut me off. "Nope. Her name is Anystasia. And You. Are going to get your dream on." Bumping her hip against mine. "Apparently it can be a reaction to PTSD, much like concurring nightmares, to lose your ability to dream."

    I blinked. These words are too big for her. Dean must be having a big affect on her if she is actually putting them into good use.

    "C, I don't have the money for this. Rent is due next week, It's really not that big of a deal anymore, Plus. No nightmares and good sleep sound like a better alternative to me." 

    "Nope. Discussion over Zoey! It's official." She kissed my cheek before bouncing off to get the bowls for whatever concoction this was.

    Sigh.. This isn't worth all the trouble. If I am unable to pay my half of rent, she will have to make up for it. Which includes a whole nother month of hell to come. Great. I snuck a look at her face. But I already knew, there was no budging her.