Skyline of concrete dreams- SwanQueen

Chapter 5

Josh- So... Seeing the Knicks tonight?

Swan- Omg I'm so sorry, I totally forgot. I'm working /:

Josh- That's ok, maybe next time?

Swan- Sure

Josh- You had your meeting today, right? How did it go?

Swan- I did, it was great. Starting next week.

Josh- Cool...

Swan- Sorry about the whole game thing...

Josh- No worries

"What did your lip ever do to you?"

Looks like she is back to the old habit of chewing her lip, as Ruby's so thoughtfully points out.

"I told Josh I might watch the Knicks game with him, and totally forgot about it."

Ruby's face lights up, but Emma cuts in before she has any chance to make assumptions.

"Not like that, you were supposed to come too. We're just friends." She watches her friend's face crumble.

"Please, let me find you a boyfriend."

She lets out a sigh, knowing Ruby is not going to let this one go.

"I just don't feel like dating right now." she provides lamely.

"But you never feel like dating."

Ruby insists in a childlike manner, earning an eye-roll from the blonde.

"Don't you have costumers to serve?" she stresses, knowing it is a risky move.

"You just wait."

The look Ruby sends her way is deadly. Betraying Ruby like that by sending her back to work wasn't a nice thing to do, she is well aware, but the prospect of further questioning pushed her to do it anyway.

What could she possibly say to her? That in the past couple of weeks, ever since they had that talk, her brain was acting weird? That every time she sees girls holding hands or hug she's immediately intrigued? That whenever a girl is being nice to her she can't help but wonder if it's because she's into her? That she can't help but look at them and wonder to herself: is she gay? Would Emma, if she were gay – which of course, she is not – date her? Kiss her? Just to feel what it's like, kissing such soft plum lips.

How can she even start explaining the weird turn her brain has taken, leading her to previously unattended thoughts?

That talk has alerted her to a whole new breed she had completely overlooked until then; The soft curves, creamy skin, and gentle femininity, strong yet so graceful. The way women carry themselves, she can easily see the endearment it awakens, even in her, even if platonically so.

She wonders if someone ever looks at her like she looks at girls now, if someone is that appreciative of her like she is of them. Then, the insinuation dawns on her, and she shuts down that line of thought as quickly as it appeared.

Still, Emma finds herself pondering the state of singlehood quite a bit.

Emma lives in a deadly contradiction, one where she wants the best out there for herself, all while knowing she's way out of that league, and therefore would never really get it. It results in a painfully single, and rather horny, if she may, Emma.

It has been months since things ended with Neal, and having been with no one else, Emma's craving the physicality of a relationship. She would be the first to admit that sex, in all honesty, isn't what everyone makes of it; it can be nice, yes, but nothing more than pleasant. With that said, once you get used to something and it's taken away from you, you miss it.