Polyvore Life

Brand New Change

It's around midnight when I climb through moy window after the roller coaster party. I can't stand the crap I've been through, I've never found out what was wrong with me, but I know there is. I can't stand people looking at me or talking to me.

Oh gosh, speaking of crowds. Tomorrow's Monday. Great, might as well go to bed, it's late.

Kicking off my shoes, throwing my clothes in my hamper, putting my jewelry in it's place I stuffed it all in my closet. Might as well keep it all hidden, don't wanna be found out.

Just as I am, I climb into bed. Hoping tomorrow will be better. Sometimes though, not everything works out the way you want it.

****************************

I woke up slightly at 5am from the house phone ringing. I didn't pay it any attention and went back to sleep. I should of paid it attention though.

A couple minutes later, which felt like hours, I felt a hand grab my shoulder and yank me out of bed. Looking up I see my Mother with an angry expression and the phone in hand.

Oh gosh, whoever was on that other end just got me into a lot of s**t.

"Why the f**k did some girl named Penelope ask me if Nate, who's twenty years old, is the father or not?! Delandy Amber are you pregnant?!" my Mother yells at me.

I'm speechless, why would Penelope do this?! Oh, I know why, because she wants to ruin my life! I look up at my Mother and try and explain the situation to her without giving up where I was last night. But she wasn't having any of it.

"Shut up! You're just like your Father! A swine! only caring about yourself and no one else!"

"But I'm not pregnant! She's lying!" SMACK! She slapped me right across my face and told me not to back sass her. I just stare up at her in shock. My own Mother slapped me!

Mother told me to whipe the tears and get ready for school. Before leaving the room she raised her hand as if to smack me again. Out of reflects I flinch and she laughs in a mocking way. Telling me to never speak of this again in only one raise of her hand.

Climbing off the floor and on shaky legs, I walk over and look at mysef through my vanity mirror. A red hand print lay fresh on my left cheek and tear streeks cascading down my face. Sighing I grab some baby whipes and proceed to clean my face, while being extra careful of my left cheek.

In the process of doing my morning routine I realize how pathetic this has all become. I've been called every name in the book without real reasoning. I've just been slapped by my Mother, and no doubt Penelope told every eighth grader about my 'pregnancy'.

I look at my freashly painted neon green nails holding my shaving razor. I don't know what possessed me to do it but I take out the razor blade. Twirling it around my finger tips I know I must do it, so I do.

With the razor in hand I drag it across my wrist. Once for the accident. Twice for the party humiliation. Third for Nate's pityful stare. Fourth for my Mother slapping me. And fifth for some reason, because of Lucus.

Crying throughout it all I see blood after more blood come down my arm. I stare at if for what seems like days, but only seconds, until bring blood drips on the carpet. I use my foot to rub it in and start towards my bathroom.

Upon getting in the shower, I cry. I cry about all the crap that has happened to me. My Father dying when I was five, leaving my Mother depressed and me in her wrath.

I cry for my eldest brother that ran away, just to get away from her, leaving me to defend myself. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't of left if he knew she'd hit me, at least I'd like to think that!

I cry for the random connection I felt with Lucus. I know for a fact if this torture with Penelope and Mother continue, my life on earth will cease to exist. I won't continue to live in a world where you're hurt all your life.

After washing my hair with my cream shampoo and cocnditioner and shave my legs with peaches shaving gel. I get out. I grab a towel and wrap it wround myself and make a b-line for my room.

Standing in my room stark naked I sigh and decide to start the day. I grab a new pair of neon green skinnies and a 'Bite Me' t-shirt. I put it over my new green panties and bra pair.

As for jewelry I put on an emerald and gold layered neckalace and a silver skull barbell in my right ear. I quickly put on some dark green converse and grab my purse. Looking at my outifit of choice I just sigh and nod, good enough, I guess.

Running a brush through my hair I notice the gnarly cut marks on my wrist. Sighing again I grab a black and green checkered leather bracelt and clamp it over the cuts. No one can know.

Hearing the bus horn honk I run downstairs and quickly grab a granola bar on my way out. No sense in telling Mother I'm leaving.

Upon getting on the bus I grab and seat. I hear so many whispers about me.

"Isn't that the loser who got herself hit by a car six months ago?" one asks another.

"Yeah! Same chick from last night trying to be sexy. So nasty!" another answers.

The previous laughs. "Really? And look at her now! Lookin' like an emo! She still won't have any friends!" Him and his friend burst out laughing.

Gosh! They're such asses! I didn't even see them at the party. Then again I was too busy getting harassed by Penelope. And making googly eyes at Lucus. But I'll never admit that.

For the remander of the bus ride I'm texting Nate, mentioning how disrespectful they're being. Then trying to council him into not coming to the school and beating the crap outta them.

Before we could argue some more the bus arrives at the school. Good, because Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb were pissing me off.

When I get in the school everyone's eyes are on me like a piece of meat, but not in a good way. More like I was rancid and had purple mold growing on me. I ignore them, new Delany, right?

Up until Penelope the hag from hell, shows up, "Hey little b***h! Get my phone call?"

"Yes Penelope, it was very pleasent". I can't believe I gave her the pleasure of hearing my voice.

She obviously didn't find my distaste for her amusing. She pushes me against my locker and hisses in my face, "don't think you can speak to me like that you little nuisance!"

I laugh, "Wow! Nuisance? I didn't even know that was in your vocabulary. And seriously? Why do you insist on calling me little, we all know I'm bigger and that you stuff."

She grabs on my shoulder and digs her claw like nails in my skin. "You're really getting on my nerves Cooper!"

"Penelope! Let her go!" A mysterious booming voice says. Penelope belts out a feral growl and then lets go.

Then Lucus pops up, sniffs, and grabs my hand. "Lucus! What the hell are you doing? Let me go!" I scream.

He doesn't listen and pulls me in an empty class room and locks it. He pushes me agains the door and lifts up his lip in a snarl. "Blood..."

I give him a confused look as he bends down and licks my shoulder where Penelope held me. I can't help but moan, which only fuels him more. He groans and sucks on the puncture wounds. I feel blood leaving me and I gasp.

Lusus gasps too and pulls me hard against him. Then I feel it, like two sharp needles poking in my shoulder. This feels so much better than Penelope's nails.

Then it happens. Something opening up within me and a hook appearing. Feeling that hook, I'm overcome with a large ammount of sadness and loneliness. But then I remember Lucus' teeth in me I feel a similar hook, Lucus' hook. Then it connects with mine.

That's when I fain, with the last thing on my mind is the new found love and connection to Lucus.