frostbite || n.h. au

prologue || love is cold

I had lived in Toronto for most of my life. I went to a pretty big school, with only a few friends. A lot of drama. That’s the only reason why I was happy leaving. I was happy to get rid of all of the bad things in my life and just pass them by and leave them in the dust to be forgotten. I was a little upset that I was leaving my best friend Katie, though. I wouldn’t keep in touch with her.

Anyways, Ma and my father, whom I called Abu, both lost their jobs due to the sinking economy. My father had a new one near Lake Michigan. That’s why we moved to little, old Mayville. When they first told me it only had 909 people, I laughed. But they weren’t joking. Everyone knows everyone there. It was a really pretty town too. And pretty cold. It was almost winter when we moved, and all I could see down the sidewalks were what looked like little, puffy marshmallow people because everyone was wearing great big coats. I guess by warmer Abu meant a snowflake or two. I was in a thin sweater and black leggings that had a growing hole in the knee. I remember looking down at my somewhat skimpy outfit hopelessly then back at the melted and re-frozen snow on the ground as our car moved slowly along. I also remember itching at my ear and having the silver heart-shaped earring that Stephen gave me fall out. He was just like all the others. Then I took the other metal jewel out and threw both out of the window. I was starting a new life. Boy free. Love free.

Love is cold. Just like Mayville. It was a bit warmer than Toronto, but it was still cold. And there’s no explainable reason why I find it looking so tempting and pretty, and find it looking so enjoyable. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a blast at first. You have your fun, playing around, your naïve eyes wide with curiosity, falling in love with everything. Loving the feeling and the rush of adrenaline through your veins. You’re happy for a while. But then it starts to hit you. That cold feeling. It hits your toes first, and you ignore it. You’re having too much fun. You're too deep into the good feeling to notice it. Then it crawls into the tips of your fingers and nips at your nose. Now you try to enjoy your time, even though you’re in pain, but it starts to hurt a lot. It's almost addicting, though; the hurting feeling. It almost makes you want more. Then the more you try and have fun and have that bliss, the worse the cold gets and the more it drags you down. By now it has spread through the joints in your hands and your feet are numb to the bone. You want to run away from it now, but it hurts to much to even move. The frostbite got you, and the more you stay out in the cold, the worse it gets. And if it gets you good, you might even lose a finger.