The Hated Who Is Loved [Beware : Include BoyxBoy]

The Hated Who Is Loved [Beware : Include BoyxBoy]

I slowly open my eyelids. I suspect that sun will shine so bright to my eyes through the locked window of my room and force my eyelids to close again, but what welcomes me is darkness.

I blink several times, focusing my sight to see the clock on right side of my room’s wall. 4.30 A.M. Too early to get ready to Earth’s Black Hole aka School but impossible to go back sleep again. I’ve never been able to go back sleep after awaken.

I get down from my bed and unlocked my window. Sudden chill comes through, and my skin absorbs it perfectly until the cold reaches my bone. It makes me shiver, and my broken heart makes it even colder.

No! I can’t be brokenhearted!

The dawn hasn’t cracked up yet, what I can see is violet sky at the horizon, accompanied by the absolute black silhouette of trees. That seems so far away, and drifts my mind to yesterday…

No! I can’t be like this!

I turn around to see my dark room. There’s no single light here, since I turn off every lights and also lock my door and window whenever I sleep.

I turn around to see my dark room. There’s no single light here, since I turn off every lights and lock my door every time I sleep. I like sleep in dark, it always calms me and always succeeds to make my mind fly away, going deep into my imagination before I fall asleep. Darkness in the night is always able to make me acknowledge my own feelings. I can recall all of the happiness, sadness, angriness, and even desperateness in the night before I sleep. But not this time. I need lights. I’m not in mood to dive deep into my feelings and be all broken-hearted again. I don’t want to think about my feelings right now… I turn on the lamp and then sit on the edge of my bed, thinking of what I should do to kill the three hours left to go to the Black Hole.

Drawing?

No, I can’t draw if I have no picture to be copied.

Listening to music?

No, I don’t want to find a sad song and then cry again.

Walking outside?

Well, why not?

I quickly wash my face, brush my teeth, and grab my jacket. I don’t know where to go but I have to be quick, I want to feel the taste of fresh air in the orange-burst dawn.

I walk slowly but fast enough to pass Josh’s house in about a minute. Blonde and blue haired handsome boy, extreme outsider, and barely speak in school, that’s Josh. I keep walking and perfectly able to pass Bryan’s house in another one minute. Popular good-looking jock of our school, black and orange haired fight master, super protective and duper possessive, that’s Bryan. I exhale my breath slowly. Childish looking girl, brown and red haired accident-flamer, being called “The Hated”, reckless, and full of troubles. That’s me. People wonders why we can be best friends since we were in playground. I do so.

Damn! I feel my heart freeze at the time I pass their houses. I’m beginning to think that walking around is a bad idea, but while I think about that, I don’t find any better things to do to keep me from being sullen all time. Why he-

No! Bad, Samantha! You can’t feel like this!

I run away, trying to release my sadness by accelerating my steps. I feel the cold air meets my face and my hair. Some dogs get ready to bark at me from the neighbor’s fences, but I don’t care. I don’t care about the cold air or the dogs. I know the air isn’t cold enough to kill me and I know the dogs won’t bark at me, they know me.