July 6, 2016

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I'm stressed, I could easily say I'm the most stressed I've ever been. There's no stopping to take a break and rest, it's always work. Sometimes I can't even relax when I have the time to prop my feet up to get a fresh breath because I feel as if there is something that needs to be done. Something I forgot to do. I've always been independent so I can get most of the work done but sometimes I hope to have an extra set of hands to help. 

The scariest thing out of all this is that this is what it was going to be like in a little over a year. When I go to college and have to deal with chores and being on my own on a daily basis. The reality creeps over me every once in a while and I just brush it off with doing more tasks. If I ignore it maybe I can hopefully make life slow down. No much luck in doing that. I'm even being nicer to the two hell hounds that are my brothers since I know I won't be seeing them soon. Senior year is supposedly the fast year of school anyone has and that worries me. I don't feel ready to move on with life, I feel and look like a kid, I don't want to grow up. If I had to grow up that meant I would have to do things on my own by myself.

I hate being alone. 

I don't even know what I want to do with my life. I feel there are so many paths to go down that I would love to do. It's like choosing from your favorite ice creams in an ice cream parlor, they are all so good. My dad says that I don't have to choose now but it would be best if I did. Going to a select school that mainly focuses on the subject I want to learn. It's just all too confusing. 

What I did know was that I was fascinated by life and therefore I want to study in biology, but then what? I"m even surprised that I just recently got a job since I'm so clumsy I trip over my own feet and anything else that happens to grace my path. How on earth was I going to be able to choose a career that will determine my life forever? It's too scary to think about. 

So far all I know about adulting is that it's hard and I have no clue on how to get through it. 

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 07, 2016 ⏰

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