Bonus Clam Stories (That Didn't Make it)

The Clam: Venom

i am a snake

when i was an innocent neolate

this guy named farmer joe came up to me and squeezed out my venom

i needed it back

now

so i took a needle with leg dna and injected it into my body

i grew a leg

yes! 

now i can hop around freely

however, my tail is flopping two an fro

anyways

i bumped into the farmer

hey you idiot nerd butt head i said

who goes there said the farmer

his hands were...

clammy

i thinked i was making him aggressive

almost

agro

i noticed his hands got clammy

he was hiding something

maybe he wasnt really a farmer at all

maybe he was a super duper mega truper zeper zooper dangerous clam!

i decided id make him go agro with me

hey youre a dingus i said 

then i stuck out my tongue and flicked it

because im a snake and i do this randomly

you must die i said

farmer joe began to sweat

hey stop he said

farmer joe grew angerer

i hope you die to death i said

then his skin ripped apart and his clam shell was exposed

i instantly went in for the kill

the murder

the clamicide

time for battle

the clam bolted forward, opening his mouth

his pearl was exposed

i knew what i would do

i would attack his pearl

but how?

i hopped and flopped my way to the clam

you must suffer the consequences i said

i tongue punched the clam in its shell

it cracked

gaaaarraagghhh the clam exclaimed, loudly, ever so loudly

he was very loud

so loud, it hurt my snake ears

ow i said

that was loud

then i realized it was TOO loud

so i tongue punched him

i began feeling the rage

the disgust

the peril in my brain

my tiny innocent brain

i began the tongue punch fury

die

die 

die

die

die

DIE!!!

i killed the clam

he was dead

i took back my venom using agro warfare

i guess you could call me...

agrovenom!