Cellar door (On hold)

The memories

“Mom, dad?” I was screaming. I want to go home, want to see my family. 

“Please find me!” Nothing…only echo of my voices was the only sound in the dark room. How long have I been screaming? I felt dry and the need of water again but Clay showed up in different times to give me food and water. How long have I been in this room? I couldn’t recognize reality anymore. Everything felt like a bad dream and my mind tries to find a way for me to wake up. How much my mind is trying, I’m not waking up. Instead I’m in this horrible room and trapped. Clay said it was for my own good that I was locked up in a cellar.

My eyes was slowly learning to adjust in the dark, my room where Clay dumped me in was dark and small. It had a round broken mirror on the right wall and on the left was nothing. The walls was build with grey stone blocks and they were pieced togheter like jigsaw puzzle. And the floor was hard as rock and had several cracks and it was dirty. I had normal sized bed on the left of the room and the only thing that was soft and smelled good. Wow they actually have sympathy I thought in sarcasm to give me a wonderful bed. I did have a bathroom; I had a toilet and one sink, the only thing that was missing was a bathtub or a shower so I would enjoy keeping me clean from the sink. Everything was rusty and looked like real prison. I didn't have any belongings so I washed my clothes when ever I smelled bad. I had soap and toothbrush that Clay gave to me.

I walked slowly to the broken mirror, trying to accept the surrounding. The small room is suffocating me; I needed something else to concentrate on. I haven’t seen myself for a while, maybe I was afraid to see something different. All that talk from Clay that I may have abilities made me picture a fantasy monster. 

My eyes were drawing attention to the broken mirror. Fine, I thought. I walked slowly to face the broken mirror. I was prepared to face something different but all I saw was I. Tired and confused and that was what I felt like; tired and confused.

I was paying more attention to the women in the mirror; she looks like she was in her twenty’s. She had long curly dark brown hair. Her eyes were yellow mixed with beautiful green color; her nose was in perfect shape. Her mouth was small but did match her other facial parts. Even if she was a real beauty the wild look that she has, looks like something was about to brake lose. 

I was backing away from the mirror. I felt scared. The good part, I haven’t transformed to a monster. I’m I. I needed to sleep. I tried to move my body so much as I could to the softness of my bed. When I got there my body just fell. Everything seemed like slow motion and my body felt heavier and heavier. Till everything went black and it felt like I was passing through time and space and my mind was leading me to memories that I have forgotten. 

I saw myself when I was little playing with other children’s in a sandbox. Next to me there was a boy who had a car and was playing happy in the sand. I felt jealous I wanted to be happy like him so without thinking I took his car. He stared at me with hate in his eyes.

“Give that back to me” he rose up with hate in his tone. It send shivers all around my body. Now I felt embarrassed, nowhere to run from my shame. I saw more kids gathering around us. They were pointing at me, calling me thief and kicking me.  Something was growing in me; raw power was running in my veins I could feel it. Whispering to unleash it. One moment I was looking at the boy and in some way, I used his anger to make fire and without knowing. I was throwing flame balls on the kids. I couldn’t help it, I just wanted to run and the fire made an escape out. My feet started running away for the screaming and crying children. Running till their voices was fading. I collapsed on the warm grass in the woods. I felt warm tears falling from my eyes. What did I just do? What is happening with me? It felt like a bad nightmare but it wasn’t. I closed my eyes, the sky was slowly fading and I was back in the darkness. 

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I woke up in sweat and tears. I rose up from the bed and tried to find a clock but I was reminded that I was trapped in this fucking cell and didn't have any belongings. I started crying more fearsome now, what’s happening to me? That memory. I didn’t want it to come back. I had nightmares for years when I was little about that accident. Mum and dad took me to a psychologist and I learned to forget that trauma. I was so naïve to think it was only nightmares and I should have known that it was hidden in my subconscious. Now in this time and space everything that I tried to forget in my past was slowly coming forward. 

“Hey...hey…girl?” A dark whispering voice was coming from outside my cell door. 

Oh my god, did that person hear me crying? 

“Ye…” I was so dry in my throat I could barely bring out words from my mouth. In new attempt I tried again with success. 

“Yes, who are you? What do you want?” I tried to hide my trembling voices with no success at all.

“What are you crying for girl? Oh I’m sorry I haven’t introduce me yet, I’m Jack. You can say that I’m kind of the prison guard around here. So you don’t have to be afraid of me. “ He said with a cheerful tone that made me even more suspicious.  

“Are prison guards supposed to talk to prisoners? Where I come from that meant breaking the law. So forgive me if I sound afraid. Just so you know, I’m not doing it on purpose.”  I gave him a sarcasm reply and felt really irritated with the person I was talking to. How could I not be afraid?

“Shit, I do this all the time. I’m sorry. Is just that every time there’s someone new here, I get excited and forget that they have much in their minds. Like always my habit is doing things without thinking. Clay tries to teach me not to scare people around here because I’m dumb. Really, I promised Clay not to talk to you, he said, “Watch her, Jack. Don’t talk to her. Gods know if she ever wants to talk again if you open your mouth.” Well it hurt me tough but I have hard time obeying him because I’m dumb so they say. “ He said it out loud with attitude like he didn’t care if he got busted talking to me. 

“I’m confused even more now. So much questions and this place, everything feels like a bad dream. I want to go home.” My voices were trembling and my tears started falling down like a waterfall. 

“I know lady, every girl and boy who comes here feel like that. Maybe in time you will learn to love this place. I promise Clay will make everything better and there are some who love this place and call this there home. I’m one of them.” His voice was almost being a comfort but my feelings told me not to trust him. 

“Some? What about those half dead people I saw? They seemed sick and hopeless, why don’t you help them? Am I going to end up like them if I don’t obey the leader in your clan or what ever you guys have created?” I notice my anger and I was shouting at him. I wanted to know the truth about those sick people.

“All I can say lady, is that those people were weak for the test. Their abilities took over and started changing them. They prefer living in their minds and slowly becoming one with the darkness. Clay is our leader and he can’t kill them. He feels sorry for them and sometimes some of them, wakes up from their darkness. It is Clays job to guide them again like he tries to do with you. You are one special matter; you are the only one who has come here without knowing your own abilities. Hope that gives you answers to some of your questions lady.” He kept his voice calm and comforting. 

“So he just let them rot in the corner like piece of trash. Well that’s very gentleman of him. I feel sick and tired… I… just… just…” I felt so tired all of a sudden. My eyes is slowly closing.  All I could hear was Clays voice in the background. He seemed angry. It sounded like “Jack… kill.. made… her sleep. Stupid man” those were the only words I could hear before passing out.