Changing Tides

One

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. It's 5 in the morning, same time I got out of bed yesterday and the day before and most likely the same time I will wake up tomorrow. If nothing is certain in this life, I would be an exception. Since I was a child my life has been about routines and schedules. I live by timelines and deadlines. I learned a lot about time management because I was reminded that time is always of the essence. My parents, both doctors, were always pressed for time. They kept strict schedules and see to it that they stick with it. They always tell me that life, like a clock ticking, waits for no one.

I got out of bed, took a shower, and got dressed for work. I have a session with my client today, a woman on her thirties with generalized anxiety disorder. Then I have to meet up with my adviser, Mr. Reyes, to discuss the progress of my thesis.

I was almost out of the house when my phone rang. "Hello!" the other person took a while to respond so I asked who it is. "Carly, it's me!" My friend, Eris, squealed in my ear. "So why are you calling this early? I'm about to leave the house." I tried to hide my annoyance but I'm pretty sure she picked it up. "Oh, sorry! But I need to tell you something very important!And I want my best friend to know it first. You want to meet up for lunch?" I couldn't believe she knows perfectly well how to keep me from getting pissed. " So you're using the 'best friend' argument on me as an excuse for me not to get pissed at you for calling so early?" I heard her chuckle. "Well, you are my best friend. And I know you hate being late so I'm gonna get off the phone and I'll see you later, okay?" "Fine. Can't wait to hear what this is all about." We hung up. I grabbed my car keys and I sped off to the clinic. I looked at my watch, I was 5 minutes behind my usual time but I figured that I'd still be early for the session with my client. I arrived at the clinic and because I was early, I sat in my small office and started reading Carl Rogers' Counseling and Psychotherapy while waiting for my client. I am having my internship as a clinical psychologist and currently working on my Master's degree. Like my parents, I was fascinated by helping other people. But unlike them, I wanted to focus on people with adjustment problems, anxiety-ridden thoughts, and victims of their own mind.

My client arrived and so we started with the session. Therapy, as most people believe, is for weak and damaged people. But years of experience made me realize that therapy is for people with immense strength and courage. It is all about confronting your fears and trying to help yourself. And the helping is not solely experienced by the client, if anything, the therapist benefits enormously in such a way that one can really feel connected to himself as well as being empathic with another person.

After our session, I met with my supervisor and instructor, Dr. Sanchez. She evaluated my report and talked about how my session went. Moments after, we we're both outside for lunch. I told her I have to meet up with my friend. "Is it a guy?" I was taken aback by her question. "No Dr. It's my best friend, Eris." She smiled and said "I thought I would finally see you with your boyfriend." When I didn't respond she said, "Come on, Carly, you're young. You need to loosen up. I admire your discipline and hard work but sometimes you also need spontaneity in life." I just smiled and she bid me goodbye. I walked towards my car and got inside. I phoned Eris and we agreed on a place to meet. Throughout the drive I was thinking about Dr. Sanchez' question. Why would she want to see me with someone? Does she think I'm a lesbian? I tried to shake the thought away.

I arrived at the cafe and saw Eris inside. She waved at me. After the waiter got our orders, she just blurted out, "I have my license already! I can now operate my travel agency!" she said it with so much enthusiasm her eyes glistened. "Wow! Congratulations!" I said, trying to match his excitement. "So this is what it's all about." I added. "Well yes, and there's another thing." Her expression became so serious I immediately got worried. "Tell me. What is it?" I asked. "You are going to be my first client!" she exclaimed. "What? What do you mean?" I was desperately clueless. "I already booked you for a two-week trip around the country!" I don't know what to say but the expression on my face suggests an emotion entirely different from what my best friend was implying. Before I could say anything, she handed me an airplane ticket. "I know you won't accept this. The look on your face says it all. But Carly, you're 24! This life you have is great. I know this is everything you planned since you first knew about the idea of planning. But really! When was the last time you did something unplanned?" I was speechless. "I, uh.. You know I can't do this. I have a lot on my plate right now; I have to finish my thesis, I still have to continue my internship, I have-" she cut me with a loud ssshh! "Stop right there. I know everything you will say. Your list of have to dos are endless and your organized life couldn't handle an abrupt change, blah blah blah. But what if this is just what you need? Think about it." Just in time, the waiter arrived with our food and Eris started eating.

I was clutching the ticket Eris gave me. I was sitting inside the car and decided to stuff it deep inside my bag. I'm certain I'm not going on that trip. After my lunch with my best friend, I drove to the University to meet Dr. Reyes, my thesis adviser. I knocked on his office door and opened it. I found him inside, totally immersed with a paper he was reading. If not for my coughing he wouldn't look up. "Ms. Henderson, come in. I was just reading your paper." He asked me to sit and started discussing my thesis. He was spitting out comments and a number of revisions that should be made. "And you should know, Ms. Henderson, I'll be attending a conference in Chicago for a month. So I need you to start making progress then you can email me. I'll keep in touch." Before I could protest, his secretary came and told him that the Dean wants to talk to him. He stood up and so did I. She motioned me to the door and told me to take care. I just nod and watched him as he left me in the empty corridor.

I lean back onto my chair and stared at the papers on the desk in front of me. I don't know which to do first. I was planning to finish my thesis by the end of the first semester but since Dr. Reyes has to leave, I need to adjust my time table. That meant I have to change all my plans for the following months. As much as I hate changing my perfectly organized schedule notebook, I know I have no choice. I took my planner inside my bag and I saw the plane ticket Eris gave me.

I remembered what she told me earlier and how Dr. Sanchez told me to loosen up. I smiled to myself and thought, "This is a bad idea."