Never Again

Chapter Four

This is a journal entry, in case anyone is confused.
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July 22nd, 2015

8:32 AM

            Matty is still asleep, shocker. He was never a morning person, but, then again, I'm not either. Not quite sure really why 'm up, but I blame it on the nerves. Tomorrow is the race, and it's been on both our minds. For the past three days, Matty and I have been on the water, practicing. For never boating like a racing scenario, I'd say that I'm not half bad! Matty says that I'm actually really very good! Part of me thinks he's telling one of those little white lies, but I actually feel some confidence. Maybe we could actually place! Not first, probably, but maybe second or third? That'd just be amazing.

            Apparently there's this party tonight, and I'm throwing it? Matty suggested that we throw one, and he asked if we could do it on Sea Breeze. It's ironic because everyone thinks we named her in regards to her being a boat and all, but she's actually named after the cocktail, which we serve at every party, and it just so happens to be our signature drink. Funny, really.

            The last couple of days, well, they have been amazing days. Despite being night owls, we both woke up before dawn and went out on Bale's Fire, both of us wearing sweats. We brought breakfast from Moon's with us every morning. We would just sit there, snuggling while we ate our food. We watched the sun rise, and it became more and more beautiful as the mornings went on.

            Around nine or so we'd start out with practice. Breaks for food and maybe the occasional make-out sessions... We spent all day out there, and it was wonderful. Daddy gave me until Monday off, which was awfully sweet. But that also means that I can put all my focus on the race, and I have been! Basically three straight days of full-out practice, and that's not including the numerous outings he and I have done in the past. I think— nah, I know? — that 'm ready. That we're ready!

            The party tonight, I cannot wait. Matty and I haven't been out in ages! With both of our jobs and his racing, we can never seem to find a good time, but tonight's the night! I have this dress that I bought awhile back with Lottie at this little boutique downtown. It's this black strapless, vintage dress with a sweetheart neckline. Lottie apparently took up sewing while I was gone, so she helped me out a bit with a makeover. She cut out triangles on the sides so my stomach is showing, and she hemmed it up a good three inches so now the dress lands around mid-thigh. I told her to have some fun with the dress, and boy did she ever! I come home and find that she paint-splattered it! PAINT SPLATTERED my VINTAGE dress! Granted, I was furious when I stopped by, but now I love it, haha. Add in some chunky jewelry and gold pumps? Oooo, or maybe red? Either way, tonight is going to be amazing!

            Oops, Matty is waking up!

            False alarm, haha. Matty was just shifting around. Ah, he is so cute when he sleeps. Well, he's cute all the time actually. His hair has grown out so it's really quite long— he won't get it cut. I think he knows how much I like to run my fingers through it. Ugh, I love him so much.

            Matty means so much to me. Tomorrow marks just one more month till out two year anniversary! I can't believe how time has flown. Seems just like yesterday that he and I met at the party. Cassandra and I have become closer over the months, and I'm so lucky to have her. She and her fiancé are such a cute couple; they're getting married in two months (I'm the maid of honor!). Since her and Steven have been together for a good three years or so, she's really been my go-to gal on all things relationships. She's helped me through all the questions and stupid fights; she's my best friend now!

            I have been thinking about is, Matty and me? And I realize just how much I love him. Moving in together all those months ago was the smartest thing I have ever done; I can't imagine not waking up next to him every morning. To see that tousled hair, those early-pink lips, ugh. He treats me so well, like how he got me my favorite breakfast the other day? We were fighting the previous night, and he went to Moon's in the morning and brought back my regular order. It was so sweet! We talked it out, and had some amazing make-up sex afterwards, haha...

            I've never felt so close to anyone before Matty, not even my parents, really. I always knew that I was loved, but with Matty, it's, it's different. With him, I feel... special. Wanted. With my parents sure, they loved me, but it was because I am their daughter. They always focused on what they wanted me to do, not what I wanted to do. Putting me through that stupid ballet phase... Matty cares about me, focuses on me. When we moved in together, he asked me: "if you could have one thing in here, in our home, what would it be?", and I told him, I told him that besides him, just some books would be fine. And, and he just looked at me. He looked at me for a few moments, and he says "now tell me what you really want." I just remember thinking, "how did he know?", and I told him, for some reason. At the time, I felt bad, but im so glad that I did. I told him I wanted a piano.

            So then I go to work the next morning, come home late, and find two giant red ribbons. One is hung from the ceiling right above a new reading crook, filled with novels from Pride & Prejudice to Harry Potter. The other one was on the ground, near this old, old piano. Matty's pants were covered in rust, his shirt dusty; he has this satisfied look on his face. I remember he was about to put the ribbon on, but I told him he didn't need to.

            That man, my man, worked all day to make me happy. He did more in the one day then my parents ever did in my whole life.

            Matty means the absolute world to me, and I can't imagine a day, let alone a lifetime, without him. I love him, and I need him, both more then he will ever know.