Fear of the Unknown {Nagisa x Rei}

Nagisa x Rei part 1

Nagisa had been acting strange all day.

Rei put down his pencil. Studying was useless when most of his brain was being used to worry about his friend.

"I'll just take a small break, and then I'll be ready to work again. Oh! And I'll text Nagisa to check on him." Rei said to himself enthusiastically. He had a habit of talking to himself at full volume when he was home alone.

He pulled out his phone and quickly shot an "Are you okay?" text Nagisa's way. Rei prided himself on never reverting to text speak even when he happened to be in a hurry. Nagisa on the other hand... He sometimes used abbreviations Rei couldn't even begin to decipher.

His phone buzzed.

"Ya open door plz"

Rei pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose, a nervous lump forming in his throat.

He got up, heading to the door. Was Nagisa really outside? It wasn't unusual for him to come over unannounced, or with little warning, but Rei felt particularly uneasy today.

It had something to do with the way Nagisa had been acting today. He hadn't seemed sad, or angry, he was exuding some weird vibe that Rei couldn't read. And that was what had Rei so worked up. The unknown. Things that Rei couldn't read up on or problems that couldn't be fixed by a calculation, no matter how complex, those were the things that made him nervous.

He opened the door after looking through the peephole to see his blond friend standing there, peering intently at the door handle as if willing it to open.

"Hey Nagisa, what's going on? Are you okay?"

His friend had a look of determination on his face.

"I'm fine Rei-chan." He said, a small smile curling his lips.

Rei hesitated. Something still seemed off.

"You haven't been yourself today," he started to say but was cut off by Nagisa.

"I have to tell you something Rei-chan." He blurted. Rei noticed his hands were clenched into fists.

"Alright, let's go sit down. Do you want something to drink?"

"No, I don't want to sit down. I have to tell you right now. I...I can't keep it inside anymore!"

Rein was becoming increasingly more worried with each passing second. But there was also a small tint of hope to his anxious thoughts. Maybe he's here to tell me- No. Rei wouldn't let himself think like that. They were just friends. There was no way Nagisa would seem him as anything other than that. And Rei was fine with that, as he kept telling himself.

"Rei-chan, I.. I really like you!" Nagisa burst out, his cheeks red and his eyes squeezed tightly shut as if he was too afraid of Rei's reaction to open them.

Rei tried to speak, but the words got stuck in his throat and he made an awkward choking sound instead.

"I'm sorry, I just had to tell you! It was too painful to keep it to myself when I see you everyday and I thought it was a crush but I just keep liking you more every time I see you!"

Nagisa's eyes were open now and tears were blooming in the corners. Alarmed, Rei put his hands on Nagisa's shoulders and the boy looked up at him, his magenta eyes wide now.

"Nagisa-kun please don't cry. I can't bear to see you cry."

"Rei-chan," Nagisa said breathlessly.

"Nagisa-kun... You are not alone in these feelings. I, too, have feelings for you other than  friendship. I r-really like you too, Nagisa."

"Really Rei-chan?" Nagisa squealed and threw his arms around Rei's waist. The taller boy startled a little, but then wrapped his strong arms around Nagisa's small back.

I wonder what this makes us... I mean we don't need a label, but do I want us to have a label? Does it matter? I don't know!

"Rei-chan? What are you thinking about?"

Nagisa had released Rei's waist from his grasp and was now looking up at him curiously.

Rei felt his cheeks heat up. "Oh, uh, nothing. Do you want to stay? Or do you need to be somewhere?" He inwardly cringed at how awkward he sounded.

Nagisa shook his head. "I don't have anywhere to be!" He wrapped his small hand around one of Rei's larger ones and led the way back to Rei's room- he had been at his house enough times to feel at home here.

The papers spread all over Rei's desk triggered a memory inside his Nagisa-focused brain.

"I was supposed to be doing homework, Nagisa."

"That's okay! I'll keep myself entertained until you're done!"

He flopped down on Rei's bed and pulled out his phone. He was silent for about five minutes, long enough for Rei to muddle through one question, before he jumped off the bed and started rifling through Rei's drawers.

Rei set his pencil down once again. "Nagisa what are you doing?"

The blond looked up, caught red handed with one of Rei's drawers gaping open and a stack of photos in his hands. "Nothing!"

"Are those my childhood photos?!"

Nagisa nodded quickly. "Yes! Look how cute you were! You look exactly the same just taller now!" He giggled as Rei lunged for the photos, missing and instead grabbing onto Nagisa's slender wrist. He let go immediately, blushing and then successfully snatching the photos from Nagisa's hands.

He slid them back into the drawer and closed it. He started to say something or other to Nagisa about how he shouldn't go through other people's things without permission (a fact Nagisa surely knew but chose to ignore), but Nagisa had grabbed the collar of his shirt with one hand and was standing up on his tiptoes so their height difference was decreased and his wondrous pink eyes were staring straight into Rei's violet ones and Rei couldn't breathe. And then his soft lips pressed ever so slightly against Rei's and Rei didn't know much about kissing or relationships or love but he knew that this felt perfectly right.

And then as suddenly as it had begun it was over and Rei could breathe and yet he wished to be breathless again, because it wasn't the kind of breathlessness that he associated with danger, but rather the kind that comes along with blowing out all your breath as you make a wish on a dandelion, a lack of breath laced with hope and promise. It had only taken him that two second kiss to realize that maybe the unknown didn't always have to be frightening.