Mind Games

Chapter 01

You know those times when you feel like crying, but your tear ducts just don't seem to be working at that exact moment? Well, that is how I was feeling right this moment.

Actually, I think I feel that way almost all the time.

Like when my grandmother died. I didn't cry not once, before, during or after the funeral--- not even when they called to tell us she died from a heart attack. That night when I failed to make myself cry, I concluded that it was because the old woman had been annoying, and too nagging anyway.

But this moment right now was different.

I was saying goodbye to my best friends. My only friends. We'd known each other since the beginning of third grade, have shared so many good and bad moments, and were always in it together.

Yet, I still couldn't muster up even the tiniest of tears to show just how much I'll miss them. Sam, however, was going through the exactly opposite predicament. She was bawling her eyes out, tears streaming down her face, endless rivers.

Ashe looked as if he was having a hard time keeping his emotions under control as he rubbed Sam's back soothingly, muttering comforting words under his breath in a shaky voice. He'd avoided my gaze entirely, since he'd came to see us off at the airport. Could you believe it?

Like... what had I done this time?

"Oh Sammy Cakes, my dear, don't cry. I promise, Can-Can and I would visit lots", Mom cooed, tears glimmering in her eyes.

I was tempted to tell her that Sam had snot dripping down her nose and for her to wipe it off, but I decided against it. It was totally off topic. Though, my skin crawled the longer she didn't wipe it.

"Uh. Um... " I trailed off, unable to form the words I wanted to say.

"Oh my gosh, I'm going to miss you so damn much!" And Sam hugged me tightly, her sobbing even more loud.

I yelped. Snot... Snot! There's snot on my shirt. Omg! This is bad. The urge to shove her off me was so strong I could barely resist.

Deep breaths. Breathe in, breathe---

"Mom", I pleaded, not standing it any longer.

Mom stared at me, uncomprehending. Then her eyes widened, and she gently eased an apologizing Sam off me. Ashe understanding the situation, finally looked at me, worriedly.

"B-bathroom. Gotta go to the bathroom", I stuttered before turning on my heels.

"Can-Can, do you want me to come with you?" Mom asked softly. I shook my head and ran off to the bathroom, duffle bag in hand.

When I'd finally settled in a stall, I immediately took off the shirt and searched for my hand sanitizer and another shirt, a clean one. Sighing with relief after I was finished putting it on, I checked my jeans and converses. Clean. I was good to go.

I exited and threw out the snot-stained shirt. There was no washer for me to put it in. And I couldn't waste plastic bags on it since I would never put it back in any of my suit cases for fear it would contaminate the clean clothes in there. So throwing it out is the only other option.

Outside the bathroom, Sam was waiting for me with a sad expression. Quietly, I handed her the hand sanitizer and she wordlessly accepted it.

"Your flight's waiting for you", she said softly after putting it on.

I fidgeted with my fingers anxiously. "I'm going to miss you a lot, too. Really."

"I know and sorry about earlier. You threw out the shirt, didn't you?" She asked with a knowing look.