I looked up, and saw him right there, staring at me like I was delicious rack of baby back ribs. I look at him more in depth, but confusion, because I looked at his eyes and he suddenly turned into an Asian Iron man. Then I look back down to the ground, but the ground turned into the ocean, and I popped out a fish tail. But I was not a mermaid, I looked at my reflection (like Mulan) but I looked a gawd damn fish. I blinked at I saw myself in the third person, and I was on a date with Brioni "oh shit" I gasped and fainted
As I started to regain consciousness, I couldn't help but to smell a rachet, horrible, gas station bathroom smell. As I opened my eyes my vision was consumed with blackness. Which oddly was... Glossy? Too glossy, almost.... Oily? All of a sudden the unknown, oily,black, thing moved. And the most annoyingly high-pitched voice was heard. It was so high it made Elmo seem like a baritone.
"Bitch! WAKE THE FUCK UP! I AINT CARRYING YOUR ASS ALL THE WAY TO MY PLACE!" The man- no, frog? Human toad? Whatever it was, spoke. "Huh?" I wheezed out. I could feel my lungs deprived from air, yet, I wasn't dying. At least, for now. "Oh, good! You're finally awake. I'm gonna make this quick, I'm Adan, I was just doing my daily routine and taking a bath, when your ugly ass washed up to the shore! I'm not gonna lie; I may have pissed myself, a little.
And also a little groundhog may have came out early. Six more weeks of winter, you know? Anyways, being the gracious, and generous, person that I am; I was thinking about taking you back home to get you help with.... All of that," he said as he motioned to my whole body. I was still suffocating and gasping for air, yet he continued to talk. Either he's ignoring me or he's extremely stupid. Probably both. "Anyways, you're just too heavy for me to carry. I live all the way up the mountain gutl, I may have Hercules' body, but I ain't Hercules." He boasted. What the fuck is a Hercules? Is it some new frog species? Humans are weird. Soon, I felt my vision started to get invaded with black dots. And I heard Adan still rambling on and on about he's epitome of a sex symbol, and how he's the greatest, an how rude I was for interrupting him from his- very needed- bath. I guess I was dying since the lack of air became extremely painful, and slowly my vision went back to black. Well, at least death was better than listening to the toad person's rambling. I jumped into a sitting position I'm bed, while taking the biggest inhale of air in my life, and sat there panting. As my breathing began to steady, I checked my surroundings. I was on a smelly, old, mattress that the springs popped out and it was littered with unknown stains. Is that ketchup? Or... Blood? Possibly Sriracha? And as I continued to look around I saw it only got worse, the walls had their paint chipped, random holes were located in some of them. The floor and sofas were enveloped with dirty, torn, clothes. You couldn't even see the floor anymore! I've longed since forgotten if it was a wooden floor or carpeted. Moldy Boxes of half eaten pizzas were scattered everywhere. There was a full, moldy, cheese pizza stuck the ceiling. Don't ask me how it got there, I don't know. And the pizza was shattered, but there was katana stuck in middle of it. Honestly, this whole room reminds me of Deadpool's apartment. Now that I think about it, it looks eerily similar. "That's because it's my place!" A familiar voice boomed through the room. I looked back and saw, And I saw that same guy that turned a crazy asian Iron Man staring at me "Oh no, not this shit again"...... The End...
