|| Scholastic Crush ||

The Meeting

None of those guys I had just met appealed to me. As a thirteen year old, one would expect to have fun, get into silly fights involving pens and pencils. I was different. Lost in my own thoughts, I realized how much I hated this new school. Suddenly, I felt strange. I felt as if every negative thoughts I have had till now was fading. I felt as if all the colorless thoughts I was having till now was being filled with colors. Some thing knocked me back to my senses and I realized I was staring at this lovely young smile of a girl. It felt as if I wanted to stare throughout the day. Even that was denied to me as the teacher noticed and congratulations! I got off to a bad start on the very first day.
 But I didn't want to back down. I was interested in the smile which had me forget all the sensible thoughts I was having a while ago. I wanted to see her. See the woman because of whom I was happy for the first time in the last twenty-four hours. I was sitting at a very awkward position. I knew I had to change places. I looked around, spotted a safe corner in class which had almost complete vision of the entire classroom.I worked up a plan. I needed to get punished and sent to that corner. I put my head down to give the impression of me sleeping in class, and voila, the ruse worked and there I was standing at the very spot i wanted to be.

I saw her for the first time. There was something radiant about her whole being. It was as if it were the light I longed for, she felt like no stranger.  I kept staring at her. I felt peaceful. I felt comfortable, I felt as if I was home. Home, the place where I wanted to be. Right from the start.
"I have to talk to her. NO MATTER WHAT!!!" I said to myself. I knew recess was the best time to muster up the courage and introduce myself. A thought crossed my mind. "What if she doesn't talk to me?"
Even in my thoughts i was thinking about rejection. I was hopeless. I had probably the worst set of skills to strike up a conversation with a boy of my age, let alone a girl. I was an introvert.
I was fighting with myself. Trying to muster up enough courage to go and talk to her.

It was recess. The time I was waiting for quite some time. I spotted her at her seat, Holding a pen to her fingers and writing up the notes we have had till now. I waited for her to be free of everything and approach her to introduce myself with the hopes of making a new friend. It was the first time in my teen-life I was shit scared. In my mind, I was rehearsing countless lines I could use to introduce myself, and rejecting them one by one. I knew standing there would accomplish nothing. I had to make a move. With very hesitant steps, I walked to her bench. All along planning my approach. I was there.
It was then I realized I didn't even know her name. "Well done you retard. Now how are you going to call her? Brilliant" I thought to myself. And as if a miracle, she dropped her pen. "This is your chance. Play it cool, relax and all will be

" I thought. It was inches away from me, but still I felt the need to run as fast as I could, and give her the pen she had dropped.

"Thank you so much" she said. I was so mesmerized by her voice, I was unable to do the one thing I came to do.

"That was so sweet of you" she said.

"Dang it. SPEAK OUT YOU SHY KID". My mind was raging with thoughts.

"Umm.. Hello???"

"You are absolutely hopeless. You should just die". I was frozen to my spot.

Being the awkward situation it was, She walked out of the room, and I was still standing there, stuck between a raging war between my mind and my heart...........