Chances Aren't Taken

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I'm always alone when I need help.

I'm never good enough to do anything.

I'm that kid that carries razor blades covered in toilet paper around with me, so when I can't take life anymore I go to the nearest toilet and let the crimson flow.

The one that is so invisible yet is so open. The one People walk past, yet the one people make sure to ruin.

Today isn't any different, I still have my friends with me. They think that I'm always so happy. They call me their hope.

I'm Jung Hoseok, a.k.a J hope

But no I'm not the right person to call their hope, that name doesn't suit me. They need to get new hope since I'm giving up.

I'm currently in my bath tub contemplating life, I have my razor blade in my hand ready to cut.

I'm so numb...

I cut a small line, feeling the skin separate as it cuts. Sending a feeling to my heart, like I'm alive... the pain it sends makes me feel alive.

I did the same motion only cutting deeper, doing it again and again. Until blood drips down my arm and drops into the water coloring it red.

I'm sorry... I know I shouldn't do this.

I'm worthless.

One.

I'm a coward.

                                                                                             Two.

I'm ugly.

Three.

I'm fat.

Four.

I'm stupid.

Five.

I deserve to die.

It's over.

I had cut deep enough to cut the artery.

It is too late now... I can't turn back now.

I hate myself, what's the difference if I leave or not. I'll only make everyone happy, wouldn't I?

The tears were flowing along with my blood.

I have no emotion, no dignity, no one.

Everything started turning black, and there were white dots every where. I saw Namjoon run in with everyone else.

"I'm sorry"

I hate my self even more.

I'm only a lone crimson flower, out of all the beautiful white roses.

I'm the only one who let my chances go when I had thousands more left.

"Sometimes people don't take chances... because they give up when they don't realize if only you looked at it differently, you would've realized that there was another way" - Starless-Waters14.