Oceans V1

After Meditation

"Kÿe, wake up!"

I awakened and found myself in the Forrest again. Hazel looked at me with the assurance of whether I'm okay or not. My mind was everywhere, I could feel everything. I could feel my blood racing it's way to my heart before it stopped , I could feel the process of respiration taking place, I could feel the winds flying from one side to the other, I could feel the clouds from the sky, its texture,sound and temperature. I could feel almost everything..

everything but her..

"Kÿe are you okay?" Hazel asked.

I looked through her eyes, I could sense her worries for me, and that felt really heart-warming, especially coming from her. I could see myself through her eyes, not from my reflection of me through her eyes, but in them.
I could see her mind, I could see memories of us flowing through her head, images of me and her, going through everything, from the day we met till now, all of this in a split second.

How's that possible?

We'll never know..

Yet..

But back to her mind.

After her thoughts of me, came another guy. I could see him holding hands with her, whispering in her ear. What slices the right side of my brain is the fact that she's smiling through it all.
Her beautiful face, soft skin, Magical hair and breathtaking eyes, all the pure essence of happiness expressed towards that someone else.

It all cuts deeper when you fall for someone for so long and you're scared to tell her how you really feel, till the day you tell her, but ends up with somebody else or too busy with even more. All of your years trying to know her, from her first name to her favorite Pizza topping till all the way to her secrets about how she hates when guys always lie about how much they have fallen, till they drop you, leaving you with nothing but hurtful intentions. And all you can do is spend so much time dealing with it knowing damn well that you're not like every other one of these fucked up bodies full of lustful attractions, craving the feeling of satisfaction. But you know she deserves better..
You're just afraid, not only afraid to be hurt, but also afraid that you're not the right one at the moment for her.

Being afraid of the fact that you're the perfect one for her, but you're not yet the person you want to be for her.

Thus also ruining the strong connection between you two, because you're friends. Out of all my days of friendship, if there isn't one thing that I've learned, is that..

"If you've been friends for more than three years, and she chose him over you, are you really still a friend in her eyes? or are you just a diary that listens to her every word and can feel her every emotion."

I personally prefer to not be the diary at all costs, but that kiss earlier made me believe there was hope in true love.
I can admit my love for Hazel is strong, but we've been so close for too long and I thought that kiss would probably mean something a little more to the both of us, cause it surely meant everything to me.

She held my hand and tried making eye contact with me, I could feel slow vibrations fading away with from my body, slowly losing connection with the world and everything.

"Kye get up, lets go."

I started hearing birds chirping around the forest and the grey clouds reappeared like it never left. It however got cold and I could feel Hazel's cold hands rubbing off of mine, just enough to warm hers. We then got up and started walking back to our street.