"You are simply, sad mad." - Oh The Boove from the movie "Home"
I am halfway to him. He is still standing there. I stop misstep. I look at him more. He looks familiar.. Awell. Probably just my imagination.
I continue walking through the tall grass of this field. A minute later. I'm standing in front of him. He is the one that broke my heart exactly one year ago.
He looks at me. I look at him. He starts to speak. "I-" "No." I say. I slowly step backwards. "Why torment me more?" I say. "Shut up!" He yells. I stop causing me to fall backwards. He sighs. "Let..me..speak." He says.
Im frozen. I cannot move. It is sunset. So many memories I didn't want to be faced with. I have all night. I live alone with some people I don't even know pay for my bills and food.
It scares me to know that people I don't even know are helping me. Well right now I'm even more scared. The guy I once loved had raped me. There is no government where I am. So no court. There is a "police" and jail of some sort but they're useless. Even if there was, I still kept my mouth shut.
The man in front of me is named Ain. His name means merciful. His parents must have been high while naming him.
I sit there in a crab position with my legs slightly spread and my arms behind me propping me up with my ass on the cold ground. I'm frozen. So many flashbacks I wish I could unsee.
"Ive been looking for you.." Ain begins. "Jasmine.." I shiver as he says my name. "I...I'm sorry for what I did to you.." He continues. My eyes burst open in anger and sadness. "I know." I say. "Theyre always sorry. Then they gain their trust again and do the same. Once..again." I say.
I feel my eyes begin to water. Every scream I made. Every moan he let out. Exactly one year ago when he raped me. I suddenly let out a small quiet shriek. All these memories and flashbacks make me feel as if I'm reliving that nightmare.
He holds out his hand to help me up. I put my hand in his and I stand up. I feel very afraid. What I thought could happen before of me getting kidnapped and raped was about to happen. We lock eyes. My eyes are watering but not a single tear streams down my face.
Ain must have noticed. He tells me to close my eyes and I do so fearing for my life. I try to remain calm. When I close my eyes a tear streams down my face. He moves his hand up to my face and wipes away my tear with his thumb. I'm quiet I'm frozen. I cannot move.
"Don't..touch me.." I say. Ain leans in holding the back of my neck. I feel his breath against my cheek. I suddenly start to freak out. He obviously hadn't listened. "I.....said....don't.." I begin. I put on a ferocious expression on my face and my eyes burst open in fury. I push him down violently while yelling, "TOUCH ME!" I finish.
Ain looks at me with a very surprised look as he is on the ground. I stand there with my hands formed into a fist with an angry facial expression. He gets up. "It was a year ago! I already payed my price just by living. I couldn't live without apologizing. Also, I know you live alone. I wanted to ask if you would live with me."
I let my hands unravel. My face becomes more hopeful. I remember I once loved him at one point. And I remember that..when that happened..when he raped me..he was drunk.
We had gone to a party. It was a group rape. With a bunch of these other guys he was drinking when I was in the other room laying down on top of a pool table afraid of everyone in there. All the other girls there had left because they were getting groped and shit. I was laying there with my hands in my hair. One of the guys asked Ain if he wanted to have sex with me. He had said yes. They came in and started to rape me. The entire time with tears in my eyes.
I collapse to the ground in a kneeling position and start crying. Too many flashbacks. "I....I for...give y..you...". I couldn't believe what I just said. Ain walks over and hugs me. I agree to live with him.
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It is now nighttime. We are under the cherry tree I was under earlier. Soon, he goes infront of me. He puts his hand behind my neck. He closes his eyes, and I close mine. Soon I feel his lips against mine. I don't move I don't scream. I lean in, and let it happen.
