Broken

Never in my life have I ever been an affectionnate person. Never. Not to anybody that I didn't need to be. Family? Yes. I could be..Nice to them. But never to anyone outside the family. I despised hugging, it felt awkward and unnessesary. And kissing, also awkward and unnessesary. The thing about kissing is that if you don't exactly know what your doing, then you're just stood there moving your lips for a few seconds until one of you pulls away. It confused me to why anyone would enjoy it really, especially the kinds you see in movies, where it looks like the guy is attacking the girl and their lips are having a fight. Or the ones that just last FAR too long, the ones you see with teenage couples stood at a bus stop groping eachother and practically eating one and other. It all seemed unnessesary and stupid. 

So imagine this, you're the same as me, you feel the same things as I mentioned ealier. OK. Got it? So. You get a boyfriend. And he's ALWAYS wanting to hug and be affectionnate. Most people you know are like "Aw that's so sweet!" and "He's so cute!" But actually, whenever he comes close to you, you want to run a mile just so he doesn't suffocate you with another hug. It's quite awkward..Especially if your friends also have partners and they're just..doing stuff like that in the middle of the street. You get that feeling inside and you're like "Shit. He's going to do it again, isn't he?" And he does. 

This is the problem, you see. Having NEVER been very affectionnate to anybody, and all of a sudden being thrown into this world pool of feelings and emotions, it kind of messes with my head. It's all so complicated, why doesn't anybody teach this? Instead of teaching the menial classes, like languages? People would argue that languages is an important subject that you will need in later life. Well I beg to differ, not with the career path I have chosen, or the fact that I am going to stay in England for the rest of my life. Instead of teaching you the subjects that you really couldn't give two fucks about, they should teach you the way of life. How to get out of awkward situations, how to gain basic everyday life skills such as going to the shop to return a hideous dress that you have no idea why your mum bought, without choking up, stuttering and ending up buying pretty much the same dress but in a different colour. 

Clinginess: Alright. Now, alot of people (mainly girls) love their partner to be clingy. In the case of me, if you're too clingy, you can just..fuck off. Fair enough if you fancy texting me every few minutes, as long as we have something to talk about, just as long as it doesn't turn out like this:

You:  ;)

Me:   :)

You: Haha

Me:    ;)

You:  :3

NO. Please. If our conversations EVER turn this way, just piss off until one of us have something to talk about. It's really pissing annoying. 

Alright. I guess I should really get onto the actual story now. Yes?