It's that damn maya bird again. Waking her up with its song, its morning ritual.
"No," Jade says silently, "Not yet, please. Too soon..." Even that very thought has become a ritual for her as well.
Jade opens her eyes and gazes longingly at the woman beside her in bed, still sleeping.
Her lover.
Althea.
A sudden pain shoots into Jade's heart. It kills her to leave Althea at dawn and rush home to her family.
Again. And again.
Delaying the inevitable, she remembers last night. How they made love frantically, wasting no time. Then gently, slowly, as if time stood still just for them. In those moments, in the world they made for each other, they are free. They are one.
But the sun is rising now. She must go.
"How can I leave you?" Jade asks herself for the nth time.
Althea stirs, interrupting Jade's thoughts, and slowly opens her eyes, looking at her with love, with happiness...and with heartache. She knows that look, as if she's telling her: "I know, Lab-lab. I know."
They kiss. Never mind the morning breath.
"I'll make coffee, ok?" Jade whispers.
"Ok." Althea replies sleepily.
They kiss again. The heat rising between them once more.
"You make it hard for me to leave, you know that?" Jade chides Althea in between kisses.
"You make it hard for me to let you go." Althea counters.
Jade smiles and pulls away gently but with a hint of urgency. "Lab-lab..."
"I know...I know...mauna ka na. Gimme five minutes."
Jade goes to the kitchen to prepare the coffee. What she doesn't see is Althea fighting back the tears as she leaves the bedroom.
Jade goes through the motions, her ritual before she leaves.
She pours water in a big mug and heats it in the microwave. Then she mixes the coffee, sugar, and just enough cream to change the coffee's color. She takes a sip, finds it perfect, then pours half of the coffee in another cup for Althea. She takes a sip from Althea's cup to make sure that the flavor is even and also, as Althea once told her, "So I can still taste you when I drink that."
Althea enters the kitchen, her face fresh and clear of tears. She puts her arms around Jade from behind and asks, "Ayaw mo muna mag-breakfast? Spam? Eggs? Hopia?"
Jade chuckles and turns around, cups Althea's face and says, "Lab-lab...gusto ko pero..." She trails off and her smile wavers. A bitter thought crosses Althea's mind briefly. "Why do I bother to ask? I know she can't stay long." But she loves her. And the simple question of asking her lover if she wants to have breakfast with her is something she doesn't want to take for granted. Jade understands this. It's not just a routine. It's Althea's ritual.
They settle on the couch for their coffee, watching the dark sky getting brighter. They talk about their separate plans for the day and when will they meet again. They avoid the one topic that is always at the back of their minds: when will Jade tell the truth to her family about her relationship with Althea.
But now is not the time. Not yet. They don't want to disrupt the fragile peace they are sharing at this moment.
After coffee, they take a shower. Together. It is an intimate ritual with a heart-breaking paradox: cleansing off each other as they are about to live their separate lives again.
While dressing up, Jade can't resist leaving a kiss on Althea's nape tattoo. The temptation to take her back to bed is almost overwhelming for Althea.
They go to Jade's car. Althea opens the door for Jade. She smiles at the thought that, for a femme lesbian, Althea has her gentlemanly butch moments.
"What?" asks Althea.
"Nothing. Nakilig lang. You opening the door for me. It's endearing."
Althea bites her lip and beams. Jade can't help but think, "God, I love this woman. I swear, I will never leave her again."
"Text me pag nasa bahay ka na, ha?"
"I will, Lab-lab. I'll see you soon, don't worry."
They hold each other close, neither wanting to break the embrace.
Then one last kiss...for now. Only for now.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
Jade enters her car, waves at Althea, and drives off. Althea remains on the street until she can no longer see the car. The ritual ends with Althea's wistful wish: "Sana hindi na tayo maghiwalay. Sana magkasama na tayo habambuhay."
Her vision blurred with tears, Althea walks dejectedly back to the house. A sound distracts her before she enters. The beating of wings. It is the maya bird that awakened Jade. Only this time, it is joined by another one. Althea watches their courtship ritual as they flutter around each other, twittering incessantly, until finally they fly off together.
The sun has risen. Althea smiles. Her heart is filled with hope again.
