Single With a Broken Heart

In my 20 years of my life i honestly admit that i never had been into relationship with someone else, yes i know it sound like an old school or something you watch on movies or on tv or even you might read on the books but yes i am a no boyfriend since birth. My friends and family and some people do say that i am pretty but that doesn't what i see and feel specially when i was on my high school days i feel so down that i am so ugly, stupid and idiot one, as i have said i never had into a relationship yet but that doesn't neccesarily means that i never had fall for someone else or admire someone offcourse i did and just what other people do it's normal and it's part of being a teenager or a youth. I did admire so many guys and most of them i really did fall and my heart got broken into pieces as well so let me tell you my story, starting with my bestfriend or let me say my ex-bestfriend i met him when i was in grade school and he has a twin brother our friendship did actually started on a wrong foot when we were on our 4th grade it was more like little kids fight we were both immature and so young at that time, but we did became friends when i lend him and his twin brother my extra pen and that was the start of when were on our 5th grade i was surprised that i saw this twin at the start of the school semester because he told me they would migrate in states. Apparently there where a changes of plan so they stayed here in the philippines and that was really a good start of our friendship he was my seatmate and at the back was his twin brother but by that time i have a crush with another guy my classmate when i was in 3rd grade the one who has been my friend for some quiet of time and he was the one who was actually keeping an eye on me for our teacher i use to skip and cut class before on our math class i did hate and cursed that subject during those time and i still hate it though, going back to my story we became really good friends until we decided to call each other best and this guy was the first guy that i became my guy bestfriend until one day on a game we play on which were there was a consequence you have to tell who your crush is and i beat him up so he has no choice to spill it out and i found out the girl who were sitting on her left side that was my classmate back when i was in 3rd grade was his crush and he admire. Little did i know i was starting to like him but i couldn't admit it i remember that there was time i wrote a song for him to confess with her crush and i entitled it with the name of her crush meanwhile his twin brother confronted me once and i could not deny it anymore and he did confessed to me that he also admire a lot my bestfriend who was by that time transferred on a different school the following year was our last year in our grade school, and our friendship became more deeper and i admire and fall for him deep as well as the time goes by there was this random girl on our class who also admire my bestfriend i became so jealous seeing them close together specially when i transferred on the top class but apparently i only stayed for a few weeks aside from my grades those students were meaner than on the section i went to and i decided to just go back there after all my friends and bestfriends where there so was he. When the time being that i got back on our section that random girl who happens to be my enemy had became so much closer with him that made me jealous to death and found out he admire the twins and as i talk to his twin brother asking him and making into plan that we will make them jealous as well as we pretend that we were together but that plan didn't work and because i couldn't take it anymore it came to a point that i confess my feelings through him and i sent him a message unfotunately it was her sister who were the first to read it and when we met on school and got on the room i didn't sit beside him he was still my seatmate everything became akward to us and there where things that change. Until he finally got the chance to ask it to me and everything were settled at that time and we did remained friends until few weeks after and month on our graduation there were changes in him he started being cold to me and avoided me on our graduation day when we congratulate each other he didn't shake his hand with me as he did with our friends that hurts, after that was the last time we saw and communicate though he often visit me on our house quite sometime with our good guy friend.