Encountering Ember (Currently Editing)

Chapter 23.

              cнαpтer 23.

                Walking Ember home, I decide to sneak into her bedroom, and sleep with her for the night. I need to be near her, just for a while longer, just to assure myself that she’s fine. Positioning myself against the wall where her twin bed is placed, she positions herself awkwardly next to me, her head resting on my arm. I kiss the top of her head and she moves closer to me and turns so that we’re facing one another.

                “The night I kissed you, that was supposed to be a goodbye kiss.” She says, her eyes swollen and exhausted. I peck her lips and then run my fingers down her eyelids, shutting them.

                “I know, let’s sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.” She mumbles in agreement. “You’ve locked your door right?”

                “Yes,” She answers with a hoarse voice. “What are you going to wear to school tomorrow?” I had completely forgotten that tomorrow was Friday and that we still had to attend despite the fact that I feel Halloween should be a holiday treated much like Thanksgiving.

                “Don’t worry, I’ll stop by the house and grab something in the morning.”

                “Won’t your parents wonder where you are?” She asks.

                “No, when you were changing in the bathroom my mom called and asked what the big box in the living room was, I told her they were gifts for people.” Her eyes shoot open. “Don’t worry, I have the letter in my pocket as for the rest, my mother wouldn’t dare open a something that wasn’t intended for her –unless it had my name on it.”

                “Are you sure?” She asks.

                “Yes, now get some sleep.” I tell her.

               "Kiss me, Mathew." She whispers, her warm breath crashing against my cool skin.

              "I'll kiss you in the morning, Ember." I tell her, snuggling her closer to me. She groans, but I still don't kiss her, instead I say, "In the morning and everyday after that." I promise her.

               "Don't make arrangements you can't keep, Mathew, forever is a promise no one can keep." She yawns shutting her eyes.

                It only takes a few minutes until the deep slumber takes her. I take this time to secretly kiss her from her forehead, to her nose, and finally her warm lips. I just can't shake the feeling that this is nothing more than an illusion and my mind is playing tricks on me. But she's here, she's alright, and she's one hundred percent alive --at least physically.

               Looking away from her and at the ceiling, I just lay there, listening to her even breathing, and examining her face closely.

              Soon my eyes close as well and my body finally shuts down peacefully, it’s a wonderful feeling.

                               ˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙˙·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙

                The coolness blowing through the window and crashing against my skin, awakens me. At first I just stay there for a moment, looking out the open window and staring at the dark clouded sky. Turning my head I look at the clock and see its 7:23am.

               “Oh crap we’re going to be late.” I say, but when I look at my arm, I realize Ember’s not there, instead, there’s a note.

                It’s raining, Mathew. 6:11 in the morning and it’s raining. It hasn’t rained this whole week, but it’s raining right now, it’s raining right now Mathew. It’s raining. I love you, Mathew, but it's raining. It's raining.

                Finally, after a long period of reading the words written by Ember, it dawns on me what she’s talking about.

              However, my mind insists that I read the letter over and over. Soon I give up as the scent of the earth mixed with the rain hits my nostrils and I feel like it’s some kind of sick joke, but it's not funny. The smell is a sickening smell. I just stand there and inhale the sickening smell. It’s a smell that from this day forward, I will never be able to stomach, because it’s raining, and Ember is not here, and it’s raining.

                I fall to my knees, numb, and yet in such excruciating pain, because it’s raining.

                It’s raining. And now I understand what Ember meant when she told me her reason for loving the rain so much. But now, I hate the rain. I hate it. I hate the rain. I hate it because the reason she loves, correction, loved the rain. I hate it. I hate it. I love her.

                I can no longer hold the pain that’s ricocheting around with in me and finally, I let it out, and yell. I can’t comprehend a lot of what’s coming out of my mouth, but I yell, and continue to yell until Ember’s mother runs in. She looks shocked to see me, but I can’t fathom the words to tell her right now.

                 How do you tell the mother of the girl you love, that her daughter's killed herself…because it rained at 6:11 in the morning, while you were sleeping?

                 You can’t.