cotton candy & lollipops

Monologue of a Late-Blooming Addict

Addiction (n.):
devotion to, 
dedication to,
obsession with,
infatuation with,
passion for,
love of,
mania for,
enslavement to

A word I never wanted to be associated with.
I despised the thought of another object,
Another idea, possessing complete control over my life.
Countless other teenagers
Displayed pride; comfort; an ironic sense of identity
In declaring they had addictions.
To me, it seemed a confession
To the loss of individuality.
Almost like letting a lover
Claim your virginity
In a moment of overwhelming lust.
I swore I would never succumb
To the world that seemingly lured others
With a seductive purr.

I received scoffs as replies to the promise I made myself,
But I turned the other cheek,
And paid no mind to the cumulus clouds of others' doubt
Forming above my head.
The only skeptical laughter
Which caused me to stop dead in my tracks
Came from a sarcastic mouth
With a crooked smile.
Oh lord...
That damned mouth.
I swear,
That very mouth
Defied human nature
And produced poison rather than saliva.
I was told to stay far from poison
Since the day I learned to walk;
And always the kind to oblige,
I never hesitated
To keep two arms' length away from it.
But
Who wouldn't admit
That quietly,
They just wanted to sample the flavor
Of that so-called fatal substance?

The boy with the poisonous mouth constantly, relentlessly
Extended his hand to mine,
Urging me to change my perspective
On how "bad" danger really is.
My parents would have my head
If they knew I didn't hesitate a split moment
Before intertwining my fingers with his.
It was then that a lit match met gasoline,
And my curiosity ignited.
Eventually, I understood why so many my age
Craved that sensation of addiction.
My life was engulfed in flames,
But in the best way possible,
And I loved it,
Adored it,
Needed it.

One day, we were dancing by the edge of a cliff,
And his arms wrapped around my waist.
He brought my body closer to his
Until our lips met.
The flavor of poison rushed across my taste buds,
And hell, it excited me
Knowing that I was engaging in rebellious behavior,
And I already longed for more.
Maybe too often I would bring his lips to mine,
But each kiss was as exhilarating as the first;
As if his lips were traced with nicotine
And resistance was worthless.

Poison, danger,
Fire, nicotine.
All things that adults tell you
To steer clear from.
Maybe it's because they know
If you experience the thrill even once,
You'll go back for more without a question,
Risking your life countless times
Just for another taste of that addiction...
Addiction,
Addiction,
Addiction.
A word I never wanted to be associated with,
But now,
Looking at him,
Having him to call mine,
Addiction
Was my new favorite word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Credit goes to Google for providing the definition for "addiction".