the escapers

don't

the buildings below me seemed so miniature now. it seemed as if the dirty old roads and the flickering lights were my veins, creating my whole existence. the ocean below seemed peaceful. serene. calm. beautiful words were being used to describe a deadly situation.
I was 220 feet above the ground, holding onto the side bar, almost toppling over the edge. the slightest bit of wind could now push me off, but I didn't let go yet.
that's the thing about me, I can never seem to let go. it's hard to let go, especially when you have nothing but emptiness to return to afterwards. at least holding on gives you an emotion. a feeling. something that proves you're alive.
because right now the only reason I am alive is because of the beating in my heart.
I'm numb, empty, and alone. even on a crowded well known bridge, I feel nonexistent.
I look down at the water below. it's a pretty far drop, and in those few last seconds of life I know I'll regret this. but it's for the best. I close my eyes and-

"Excuse me?" a woman asks. she has a heavy British accent. she pokes me on the shoulder, not seeming to care that she was interrupting my plan. the woman had gray hair and looked old, but she had striking green eyes that were so bright and bold. "are you about to jump?" she asked.
I didn't know how to respond, because I didn't want to respond. I hastily tried to collect some words to answer her question, but she didn't even wait for me to answer.
"don't do it."
I tried putting my logical reasons into words, but I couldn't.
"what about the escapers? they all do something like this and fail. because this is never an option." she said. her green eyes became dull.
"what escapers?" I asked her.
"hopefully you won't have to find out." she murmured, looking down at the concrete. "get down from there. don't do it, kid. you have a lot to live." I shook my head, staring at the blue of the water below. I'm stubborn and petty, wether I like it or not. "okay then. I'll see you later, I guess." the woman said.
"what do you mean you'll see me later?" I asked her and turned around.

she was gone.

I didn't even care at this point.

I thought of my family, my friends, everything. I wished them all goodbye in my head. although I know most of them wouldn't even care that I just stopped showing up.

and then, I allowed myself to breathe in the air. my fingers clenched to the metal bar, and after a few seconds,

I let go.

this time for good.

or that's what I thought.