Together or Not

Sean's POV

Jesus Christ.

That is the only thought I can form as her voice gets thicker with every word and as she leans closer to me, staring at my lips. The moment our lips touch, fire burns through me. Wanting her, needing her to be closer. I lift up the console and she slides into me. She parts her mouth and without thinking, forgetting that I want to go slow, I slide my tongue through her lips. A small gasp escapes her and makes my body burn. Something snaps in my mind that we're parked in her driveway and I do want to go slow. I linger in the kiss a little longer, because I've never felt this way with any kiss before, then pull away slowly. We're both breathing hard and our bodies are pressed close together.

"I'm sorry." I say, trying to regain my breath.

"Don't be." She says, equally breathless. "I was the one who kissed you."

"Yeah, but I took it a little farther than I wanted to."

At this her face falls a little.

"No, no. I mean, I wanted to. I still want to be in that kiss, but I want to go slow with you more. I want to keep you and not lose you."

She smiles at me, "You know, this was only our first date, right?"

I smile back and shake my head. "It doesn't make a difference to me. I've wanted us to be a thing since I saw you."

She blushes a deep shade of red and slides her hand up and around my neck, pulling my lips back to hers. I don't object and snake my arms around her waist the best I can. This time she hesitates. I stare into her face as she goes over everything in her mind. I take one of my hands and tilt her chin up so she meets my eyes.

"You kissed me, I get to kiss you. Does that seem fair?" I ask her, gently.

She glances at my lips again and I take this as a yes. I pull her toward me as slowly as I can to savor every moment of this. The feeling of her on my side, the warmth from her hand on my neck, and the look of her. Not even a specific thing about her, just all of her. Finally, I touch my lips to hers, feeling that burn travel through me. I could get used to this. I really could. After some seconds, or minutes, not sure which, she pulls away.

"I think I should go inside."

I nod even though I dont actually want her to leave.

She gives me a last quick peck on the cheek that I wasn't expecting as she gets out. I roll down the window and shout out,

"Hey! What was my grade? And which test did I pass?"

She smiles slightly and says,

"I think.....I'd give you....a....C-."

"WHAT!?!?!" All that and I get a lousy C-!?!"

Her smile widens.

"Yeah. And that might be even two grades." She says, before entering the house and leaving me speechless.

What the hell has happened to me?

I just went on a date. A real date where both people keep their clothes on. I haven't done that in....a while. I hate to think that, but I'm glad Britt wanted to give me a chance. I smile as I back out of her drive and head back towards the house. Then I think and change course to go back to her spot. I know it's hers but it was beautiful there and its farther away from all the craziness filling my life. I can think clearly there, like the water. And I can think of how it must feel for her. To be free and happy in her skin, being exactly who she wants to be. I envy her of that. All my fuckups have ruined a lot for me. I dont intend them to, they just do. I don't want to make bad choices, just I lose my thinking skills and I don't get them back until I'm sitting in the back of a cop car or in bed with some stupid chick. I don't want to do that with Britt. Well, I mean, eventually, of course I do, the end up in bed part, but not on the second date or even the third. I want to wait a while and show her that she's worth something to me. I pull into the space we first parked in and get out. I walk a more complex path through some of the trees and bushes. I dont know what it is with me and going through nature with more difficulty than needed, but it's what I do. I don't have a huge problem with it and whenever I try to change it, it doesn't feel like me. So I will do as I have pretty much always done.

Once I get through the brush, I sit close to the spot that Britt and I were sitting about an hour ago... Where we kissed...

Her lips....... So smooth and soft..... So tender.... But the way she said my name.... Fuck. Stop thinking about that, Sean. It will not help right now.... But damn.... She's so...

"Do you come here often?"

I jerk my head up towards the sound of the voice.

It's a guy. He's not just skin and bone, but he's not a muscle man either. No acne. Could get a lot of ladies. Gray shirt and jeans. Not a complete stoner. Maybe not at all. Brown hair. Blue eyes. Girl-loving combo.

"Um..."

"I just haven't seen you around here."

"A friend showed me this place today. Although, I don't see why it would be any of your business."

I hear him chuckle as I look back towards the lake.

"I never claimed that it was, but I seen you here by yourself..."

"So?" I snap.

"And that you crept through the trees like a lunatic unlike the rest of the people that come here, who walk in the path."

I look back up at him and narrow my eyes.

"Is this how you try to make friends? Waltz up and call them lunatics?"

"No. Not usually. Just with you."

"And why must you talk to me?"

"I was just curious. That's it. Being a major in psychology and all..."

"Oh, hell no." I say, standing up.

As I walk away, I hear the guy shout out, "I knew you wouldn't like that much!"

I dont look back until I get to the edge of the bushes. When I do, he's already gone along the path.

What was THAT all about??? Why did he just walk up and start talking to me?

That's just great. One moment alone to think about Britt is all I wish for and instead I get a freaking physiologist walking up asking me why I'm a lunatic. Oh freaking well. He isn't going to see me again. Ever. I walk back through the trees and get back in my car, possibly just imagining that it smells a little like Britt.