Kegare no Asashin

Split

I was about to leave to go jogging until I turned around to get a cold bottle of water; it would've been bad if I left without one. As I was about to head off, now with bottle in hand; I stopped when Ryogo and the others entered the house.

"Mission complete," Atsushi said triumphantly.

"Really?" I asked.

Ryogo nodded with a kind smile before asking, "Want to join us next time?"

I denied his offer, but how I sounded when I said it was colder than intended. Maybe that's how I'll play it off like this; I decline whenever I'm asked while I act completely uninterested like I did before. I should also try doing something else to make it the perfect double life situation, maybe ... I should be a comedian! Rokuro Enmado, a comedian who brings laughter throughout Japan and a secret Exorcist. Perfect, I'll make up some jokes as I jog. Though my train of thought was stopped abruptly when Ryogo got my attention.

"Rokuro, we're gonna have steak with a side of takoyaki and we're almost out of soy sauce," he started, but I had already assumed what he was going to ask.

"Sure, I'll buy soy sauce," I said.

Ryogo gave me ¥780 in case I accidentally lose the first one on my way home, though I wonder how I could, oh well, I'll just jog there and back, or sprint today and jog the other times.

I left Seika, and when I was a few feet away, I stopped and did some simple stretches in order to not pull a muscle or get cramps before I started to run. As I was running, I moved every time someone was in front of me, not only that, but my pace of breath was quicker, my heart was pounding in my chest, my face, neck, and torso started to feel moist from sweat, and my lungs felt like they were burning from a non-existent flame.
Eventually, I made it to the store, I crouched slightly with my hands above my kneecaps as I was panting and catching my breath. I don't know how fast I was going or how long it took me, but I was out of breath overall.
After a few minutes of just standing there and panting, I stood up completely and drank some of my water. I entered the store with a expression I felt was a calm one, and I checked the shelves to find the brand of soy sauce we usually buy.
The store was small and had shelves filled with a variety of spices, chips, bottles of soda, sauces, sake, water of different brands, and a vendor of specific meats and some ingredients for side dishes. I walked to the shelf that had the sauces, and got the one that we usually use before going to one of the clerks.

He scanned it before placing it in a bag and said, "That will be ¥390."

I gave him the change and left with the bag, this time, instead of sprinting, I jogged back home, I should've paced myself when I got to the store, but I must train myself more to build myself to be faster, stronger, and more agile.

When I returned back home to Seika, I saw that Ryogo was already preparing dinner, so I just walked up to him and gave him the soy sauce and the extra ¥390 he gave me.

"Thank you," he said before taking the soy sauce out of the bag and used it on the takoyaki.

The takoyaki was smelling good so far, I was able to smell the aroma as I was entering, and I now looked forward to dinner.

"Rokuro?" Ryogo asked as he got my attention.

"Yes?" I replied.

"Why are you sweaty?" He asked with a tone of puzzlement.

I lied by saying, "Oh, I saw Kaito on the way there and he asked me to race with him."

"How did it go?" he asked, and I was able to tell that he bought it.

""Well ... I lost," I said with a tone of sadness, then I said with shock and disbelief, "I was sure that I was going to win, but he caught up to me!"

"Well, you should try harder next time," Ryogo said.

"You're not helping!" I almost shouted and used a tone of actual anger.

This could actually be part of how I am when I'm myself and not Kegare no Asashin; and I should try being something else, like try to achieve being something that isn't an Exorcist. I might not be entirely ... good, but it doesn't hurt to try.

I ended up saying with anger and determination, "Someday, I will be a Stand-up Comedian and will bring laughter throughout all of Japan!"

"Really?" Asked Ryogo, "Well, good luck with that, but in my opinion, I still think you should be an Exorcist."

"No! Never again! I gave up on it when that day happened," I said with a raised voice, my voice was filled with anger and inside, I felt actual anger and hurt.

"Rokuro, I know how you f-" he started, but was cut off.

"No you don't!" At that point, my fists were clenched and I felt tears down my face. "You don't know anything about how I feel."

I ran to my room and fought the urge to slam the door, as I sat beside my futon, I started to question myself. Am I really doing the right thing? Is it right for me to want to live a double life as an Exorcist who has determination to wipe out all the Kegare and still act as though I want nothing to do with Exorcism but instead be interested in other things?
I looked at the palm of my right hand before I closed and clenched it; I know I can't atone for the sins I committed that night, but I know they would've wanted it. The memories of that night still haunt me in my dreams, but ever sense yesterday, when I went back to sleep, it felt as though it receded a bit. I swore to carry on for their sake, and I will fight again.
I stood up and wiped my tears with my sleeve, then I left my room and went to the kitchen to eat dinner with the others.