Beautifully Diseased Minds

Nerves & New Friends

"Lydia, what are you doing?"

My heart was pounding, my body shaking, everything sweating. My gaze was fixed upon a building, the shade of ironically calming tan. I wasn't scared of being judged by others who were there for the same exact reason as I was, or the fact that I could possibly get lost inside its intertwining hallways that I had only viewed briefly once before, a few short months ago. I was terrified of representing the definition of failure. I had dedicated every ounce of my free time to this very moment. I pushed myself to get ahead of the majority, resulting in myself to graduate high school dramatically early. I received my diploma when I was merely fourteen years of age, going to college immediately after, finishing my bachelor's degree in psychology and criminal justice, interning for a few years with the FBI, then now, at the age of twenty four, I was finally able to say I was a profiler for the FBI in the BAU. Yet, here I was, sweating and panicking like an idiot. In my defense, this, along with death, was one of my biggest fears. I wish I could control it, but unfortunately that's out of the question. So, my only option left was to suck it up and go live my life already. With that being said, I was subconsciously opening my car door and striding towards the job that I've invested my life into. 

As I opened the sleek black door, air conditioning greeted me like a high five to the body. I adjusted my blonde hair, slightly retwisting its subtle curls. With my shoulders back and straight, I continued to the front desk of the BAU. I was greeted by a woman with soft red hair, soft brown eyes, and a soft aura.

"Hello, may I help you?" She asked, a pleasant tone lingering in her voice. 

I cleared my throat slightly, nervousness peaking through. 

"Hi, um, my name is, um," I began, then regained my confidence that I was lusting for. "Lydia Anderson. Today is my first day with the BAU."

A light seemed to blink in her eyes. "Oh yes," she stated cheerfully. "Agent Aaron Hotchner informed me about you! I have your badge right...oh, here it is! Go up to the 15th floor, and you will find yourself the BAU." The woman informed me with a smile.

"Thank you." I replied simply, grabbing my badge. With that, I was on my way.

I was too fascinated observing my badge to let nerves sink in on the elevator ride up. But, with a simple ding, I was brought back to reality and normal feelings. Without my control, my body was walking into the BAU. I could hear my black dress pants rubbing up against each other,  my black heels clicking onto the wooden floor, creating an obnoxious noise as well. Little did I know that this noise was only obnoxious to my ears, as no one else was staring at me the way I was mentally staring at myself. I uncomfortably adjusted my black blazer while I continued walking towards what I assumed were my co-workers. Before me, I saw the man who interviewed me for this position- agent Hotchner. His hand was outstretched as he began to speak. 

"Welcome and congratulations, Lydia. I'll show you around and introduce you to the team." Hotchner proposed. 

"Thank you, agent Hotchner." I smiled, while shaking his hand.

"Please, call me Hotch." He asked. 

"Oh, sure thing, Hotch." I replied, with a hint of nervousness lingering in my tone.

After briefly showing me around, Hotch brought me down to introduce me to the rest of the team. When I approached their desks, I observed each of their behavior. One rather muscular man was conversing over the phone with someone, rather flirtatiously. His body language gave off that he was confident with himself, but not cocky. The next person I saw was a strong willed woman, flipping through papers left and right. This woman was, and probably always will be, a gutsy badass. The next woman was a little more sensitive appearing. She had gorgeous blonde hair and blue eyes- almost every mans dream traits in a woman. I liked to joke and consider myself a halfway dream, considering I had green eyes instead of blue. The second to last man was walking towards us, the best poker face I've ever seen plastered on his aged face. Once he reached us, he stuck out his hand firmly. 

"Nice to meet you, Lydia. I'm agent Gideon." He turned his body towards the members behind him. "Everyone, this is Lydia Anderson, the newest member of our team. Lydia, this is agent Derek Morgan(the muscular man), agent Elle Greenaway(the badass), agent Jennifer Jareau(every mans dream), and agent Dr. Spencer Reid."

The last man I had not gotten the opportunity to observe until now. I realized this was because he not only had his nose, but his entire face, stuck inside of a book. I couldn't quite make out the title of the novel, but he was reading awfully fast. Suddenly, I heard a throat clear, and Dr. Reid's head pop up in pursuit. 

"Spencer." Agent Gideon said sternly. 

"Yes?" the doctor replied. 

I had now finally gained the opportunity to observe Dr. Reid. The first thing that struck my nervous brain, was that he was incredibly beautiful. Not in the stereotypical 'sculpted muscles and tan skin' way, but in the way where every feature holds a level of beauty. His pale skin seemed as pure as and as flawless as snow. His 'more than average length' brown hair seemed like a wavy chocolate river- his brown eyes following in pursuit. Based upon his behaviors, he seemed incredibly intelligent. Rather observant as well, but then again, all profilers typically are. The doctor appeared to think on a different level-this I concluded from the furrow in his brow. Overall, the man was truly beautiful.

"This is our newest member, agent Lydia Anderson. I just thought I'd do myself the pleasure of singling you out since you seemed to have a very strong attraction to an object versus someone who could potentially save your life someday."

Dr. Reid's face turned a pale shade of pink, as he let his gaze meet mine for the first time. He was about to speak, when something seemed to 'catch his tongue'. After a few seconds, the air grew awkward, and the rest of the team was beginning to feel it. Finally, Dr. Reid cleared his throat, then spoke. 

"Um, hi. You can call me Spencer. Only if you'd like to, though, of course." Spencer stuttered, nervously. 

At least I'm not the only nervous one, I thought.