When I See You.
My heart starts to beat. My head starts to spin. No matter where I am, no matter what I’m doing, I have to be with you. To talk to you if only for a little while, makes my whole day. To see you smile, I would do anything. To be behind you always, supporting you from behind, that’s okay too. Just to be near you. Just to be near you.
I know that these feelings are never going to be reciprocated. Never going to be returned. But I can’t help but hope, when I see you. An unfamiliar aching starts in my heart, a longing to be near you. To hear your voice, to hear you sing. To hear you laugh, to see your eyes sparkle. All for you.
I’m supposed to feel like this. It’s all part of your charms isn’t it? So tell me, tell me heart, what am I doing wrong? All I want you to do is to kiss me, to caress me the way you caress her. The way you kiss her. You’re taken. I know that. I’m aware. But I can’t help it. Can’t help it at all…
I’m going out of my mind. You invade my thoughts night and day. In my sleep, in my dreams, and in my day-dreams. I can’t concentrate on anything. When you’re there, you are all that matters.
No one else. Nothing else.
I can’t be doing this. I can’t be falling for you. I can’t. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t! It’s not right. When you’re so much older and taken… Taken. Not single. Even if you were single, she likes you. And she’s my friend.
I can’t. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t! My feelings are too strong, and I can’t hold them back. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.
But everything about you draws me in. Makes me hungry for you. The constant teasing only pushes you away. But what can I do to draw you in instead? Instead of this never-ceasing lust for you. Lust. Love. I can’t even tell what’s the difference any more.
God help me, I think I’m falling for you.
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You’re all I ever see. Every moment we spend together, I cherish as if it were my most prized possession. Be it standing in the rain, or just chatting happily, everything is important. All the long nights spent talking to you with only the bright light of the computer screen to keep me company. Only the tapping of the keyboard. Echoing throughout my soul.
I try to deny it. I try to hide it. None of it works. The only truth is that when you look at me. When your eyes pierce my soul. My heart beats faster. My heartbeats stop. You are perfection in my eyes. That is something I’ll never hear, coming from you.
Never. Mine is a hopeless dream. Mine is a dream set up for failure. It will never happen, and I just have to face that. But I can’t. Because it’s you. You. Out of the billions of people on this earth, my heart only beats for you.
Just say the word. I would do anything for you. Run to the ends of the earth? You got it. Find you something that cannot be found? Done. Anything. Everything. Just for one more glance that you would shoot my way.
Of course, I know it’s all just a part of my imagination. All of it. You were never true to me. You never loved me and you never will. But I hold onto that hope. I hold on to that little shred of hope that you actually cared for me once.
Once in a blue moon.
I do all that I can to get you to notice me. I do everything. I try everything. Even if the most I get is a couple of words and a nod, it’s enough. You’ve acknowledged me. If you decide to give me a smile, my day brightens up and I’m elated for a while. When you touch me, my mind goes blank. I can’t remember anything except how to breathe. How to start my heart again.
