stronger ↣ ziam

十三

"Ready to go?" Zayn asked softly, eyeing Liam like he wasn't sure what to make of him after the events of the night. Liam wrapped his arms around Zayn and pressed his face into Zayn's neck, sighing against his skin.

"Let's go out and celebrate," he suggested, suddenly wanting to do something, anything to get him to forget about his jealousy.

"What?" Zayn asked with a slight chuckle.

"Come on, we never celebrate after my matches."

"We do too," Zayn protested. "But you're always so exhausted-"

"I'm not tonight," Liam interrupted. "I wanna go out."

Zayn groaned softly, but eventually agreed. He and Liam made their way to a club a few blocks away from the hall, and Zayn hoped that the paparazzi wouldn't follow.

He couldn't deny that there was something off about Liam that night, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. At first he brushed it off as leftover stress about the fight, but Liam usually didn't let things get to him. He'd done well in working out his frustrations in training and in matches, so nothing ever really weighed him down.

Even when something was bothering Liam, he usually would tell Zayn about it. It was nothing to brag about, but out of the two Zayn was usually far more secretive about his emotions. The only emotion he really had no trouble sharing was his love for Liam.

He stood by and watched as Liam ordered drinks, trying to gauge what Liam was thinking based on his body language and the look on his face. Despite his swollen lip and the bruises on his cheeks, Liam was smiling. Yet there was something in the way he smiled that made Zayn uneasy.

"You sure you're okay?" Zayn asked when Liam handed him a drink.

"Yes, Zayn," Liam answered with a roll of his eyes. "Are you? You should be happy, we won!"

"You won," Zayn corrected. Liam cupped Zayn's face and gently brushed their lips together.

"We won," he repeated.

Zayn smiled, letting Liam pull him onto the floor and press his body flush against Zayn's. Liam let his hands wander over Zayn's body, but instead of going along with it as he did whenever Liam touched him, Zayn stiffened. He wasn't used to seeing this Liam out in public, he preferred it when they were alone and away from prying eyes.

"Liam," he said gently with a soft laugh. "People are staring."

"So? They're jealous," Liam said as his lips connected with Zayn's neck. Zayn's eyes fluttered shut at the contact, but his mind wasn't letting him enjoy it. He couldn't shake the worried feeling deep inside, and he desperately wanted to know why Liam was acting this way.

"Liam, come on," he tried to push Liam back but his grip tightened. Liam lifted his head and looked at Zayn strangely.

"What? Am I not allowed to touch you in public?"

"It's not that, love." Zayn stroked the side of Liam's face, mindful to watch the bruises. "It's just-"

"Just what? Why can't I celebrate tonight by touching you?"

"This isn't like you, Liam." Zayn sighed softly. Liam let out a deep breath, letting go of Zayn for the first time since they left the hall.

"I just want to remember this moment," he mumbled. "It might-"

"Might what? Be the last time we celebrate you winning?" Zayn snapped. A flash of hurt spread across Liam's face and Zayn cursed himself.

"Not you too," he groaned. "Niall already reamed me out for the retirement comment, and-"

"As he should, Li. It was stupid."

"Why?" Liam's voice grew louder. "Why does everyone think it's such a terrible idea?"

"Because it is, Liam!" Zayn shouted angrily, suddenly drawing a lot more attention to them than he wanted. "Not just for you, but for me too," he mumbled.

"Why?" Liam demanded. Zayn shook his head and started backing away from Liam.

"I'm not doing this here," he snapped as he walked away, pushing his way through the crowd around them and leaving the club entirely. Liam followed him after a minute, finding Zayn outside in the alley desperately trying to light a cigarette.

"Is that all you care about? The work you've put in with me?" Liam felt betrayed, he couldn't bear the thought that neither Niall nor Zayn really cared about him.

"Don't do that," Zayn cried, shaking his head and refusing to meet Liam's eyes as he gave up on the lighter in his hands. "Don't you dare put that on me."

"Then what is it?" Zayn shook his head again, choking back a sob.

"I don't know. I don't know what's gotten into you. I don't know who you are and what's happened to the Liam I love."

"I'm right here!" Liam found himself yelling, and he hated himself when he caused Zayn to flinch at the sound. Zayn took a deep breath and looked directly into Liam's eyes before he spoke.

"Then why do you want to throw away everything we've built? Everything you've worked so hard for?"

"Because I'm fucking terrified of losing it. Losing you, losing everything. It could all be gone in a flash," Liam's voice grew softer as his anger melted away and was replaced with panic.

"Wh- Liam-" Liam held up his hand to keep Zayn from speaking. He took a deep breath and rubbed his face, suddenly feeling tired.

"I've been so stupid," he grumbled under his breath. Zayn blinked, completely floored by Liam's statement.

"What do you mean?"

"I thought-" Liam sighed angrily. "I don't even know what I thought. All I know is that when I saw you and that, that Harry together I just-" He sighed again and groaned loudly. "I just lost it."

"Me and-" Zayn's head was spinning. "Harry?" He tried to keep from laughing, but he didn't know what else to do. "Harry fucking Styles?"

"Don't laugh at me, Zayn." Liam's voice turned angry again and Zayn quickly stopped laughing.

"I'm sorry, Li, it's just- Harry?" He blinked. "Were you jealous?"

"No," Liam said through gritted teeth. "Yes," he mumbled a minute later.

"Oh, Liam." Zayn shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighed deeply. "No wonder you beat the shit out of Louis. You were jealous."

"Shut up, I already feel like an idiot." Liam crossed his arms, staring at the ground. Zayn crossed the space between them, taking Liam's face in his hands.

"You have nothing to be jealous of, Liam." Zayn sighed, trying to get Liam to look at him. "I love you."

"I love you too," Liam mumbled, still too embarrassed to look at Zayn.

"Besides-" Zayn paused to chuckle, "Harry's taken."

"Louis?" Liam asked. Zayn nodded. "Bet Harry hates me, then."

"I'll admit, he's not your biggest fan." Zayn let out a breathy chuckle and Liam finally met his eyes. Zayn pressed a gentle kiss to Liam's lips and sighed. "Is that why you threatened to retire?"

"Maybe," Liam mumbled again. "Really I just said it because I was angry."

"You're an idiot," Zayn said with a gentle laugh. "My idiot." Liam clung to Zayn, feeling drained from all the fighting that had occurred that night. "Let's get you home, yeah?"

"Yeah," Liam forced himself to say, refusing to let go of Zayn.
-/-/-/-//
words: 1223
-
im probably going to update later on bc i want this book to finish! does anybody like this book ?¿ BUT THIS BOOK GOT TO 1K READS IM SOO HAPPY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHOEVER READING THIS; THANK YOU SO MUCH IT MEANS ALOT TO ME! im sooo sorry for being a ugly/ inactive i am!