June 22nd , 2016
I Walked into The Kitchen Of Our 2 Bedroom Apartment & Took The Orange Juice Out The Fridge.
Mom : Sabrina ?
Me : * Pours Out Juice * Yeah ?
Mom : Kirk is Coming Over For Dinner Tonight .
I Sat Down At The Kitchen Table . Kirk is This Guy My Mom Has Been Seeing For Awhile . He's Kind Of Annoying Always Trying To Be A Father Figure To Me , But I Don't Need One , And I'm Way To
old To Even Fall For That Step Daddy Crap .
Me : Ok ... * Drinks Juice *
Mom : You Need To Start Being Nice To Kirk , He's Trying You Know .
Me : & Uh What Exactly Is He Trying To Do ?
Mom : You're Like The Daughter He's Never Had He Just Wants A Relationship With You * Folds Arms *
Me : Well Sorry To Break it To You ! But I'm Not His Daughter & I'm Not Obligated To Act Like It !! * Walks Out *
I Grabbed My Phone Off The Charger & Left The House
I Don't Need A Father Number 2 , I Don't Need Anyone To Try To Be There For Me Just Because They Feel I Need A Father Figure . Cause I Don't , I'm Fully Capable Of Being There For Myself .
I Went Downstairs Of Our Apartment & Sat Outside On The Steps .
The Hot Son Hit My Skin & I Realized I Was Still Wearing My Pajamas . I Rolled My Eyes & Put My Head in My Lap .
Sometimes i Just Wish Everything Can Be Normal , How it Use To Be . I Wish My Dad Wasn't So Selfish And A Inconsiderate Asshole , i Thought Our Family Was Fine . We Had Our Ups & Downs Just Like The Next Person , But Family is Suppose To Mean Never Giving Up On Each Other .
I Rubbed My Temples And Took A Deep Breathe , Everything Will Be Easier . I Tried To Remind Myself But That Was A Lie , it's Been 4 Years And it's Still Something Missing , And Just Because My Mom is Dating Someone It Doesn't Give Him The Right To Try & Replace My Actual Father .
Dear Journal ,
It's 6:30 & Kirk Should Be Coming Over In A Few . I Wish I Had Friends To Talk To About These Kinds Of Things But They Would Just Think I'm Being Overly Sensitive , Cause I'm Just Another Teen Without Her Dad ... But i Loved Him So Much & He Left Me Cold Turkey , No Warning No Anything , i Felt My First Heartbreak . Being With Someone Everyday And They Just Disappear To Start A New Life , Without You . Now it's Like My Mom is Shoving Kirk Down My Back To Fill A Void He Could Never Replace , He Tries To Hard , He Over Steps His Boundaries , And He's A User . They've Been Dating Or W.e You Wanna Call it For About 8 Months Now , My Mom Did Wait Awhile To Get Back To Dating So i Don't Blame Her For Trying To Find Love Again But What Bothers Me Must is She's Trying To Force Me To Do Something I Just Don't Want To Do . Anyways I'm Going To Call My Bestie Ariel , Yes Like The Mermaid Her Mom Was Obsessed With That Movie While She Was Pregnant ,We've Been Friends Since Pre School , But I Don't Think You Really Care To Hear That Story ... I'll Be Back .
