Running Free

Chapter 1 | Chances

I believe everything in the world was given a life. Some may chose to live it differently than others. Some, let the monster inside grow, and swallowing their soul and eating away at the goodness that was present in their once beautiful heart; the heart that has now turned a shade of a deep charcoal black, filled with only the lust for hatred and anger. Their soul rots away and is replaced with the devil, filled with nothing but pure darkness.

My brother.

He and I were once inseparable; despite everything we were glued to one another's side. He and I were like magnets, drawn to each other and only to be pulled apart when something forced us. Everything we did, it was with each other. Nothing could come between us, despite the desperate attempts of our parents, who were set upon us making friends. The age gap of two years never affected either of us; Jack and I didn't need anyone else aside from each other. It had always been like that, right up until it happened. Just like magnets, we were ripped apart by a force that shook our lives, mine in particular. Everything I had was shredded into oblivion, transformed into a nightmare that even the most imaginative person would struggle to think of...

****
Present Day

Glancing out the plane window, I placed my headphones into my ears, the music blocking out the low grumble of the airplane. I chewed my mint flavored gum nervously, trying to give my mind something to focus on; I needed a distraction, not that it was working very well. The background noise of babies crying, their mothers comforting them helplessly, businessmen and women hastily typing at their laptops, and an irritating crunching of greasy chips that a heavy set couple were forcing down their throats, licking the crumbs off their sausage-like fingers afterwards.

As the turbulence smoothed, I allowed myself to drift asleep, my head resting on the plane window and my eyes shutting loosely as my surroundings became quiet. I was warped into a silky blackness, and I embraced it contently.

I tried to forget.

I tried to forget the agonizing memories of that day.

That day, when my world crumbled around me, my walls breaking, falling to pieces and disintegrating into dust.

But the thought wouldn't leave my mind.

Flashes of it haunted me, everyday. When I blink, their innocent faces flash before me, helpless and desperate. Silent screams escape their lips, their eyes permanently frozen wide, as though they're constantly frightened. Their clothes are soaked with thick red liquid, and it continues to spill from every inch of their bodies. But most of all, the one face that I can't forget is the one face that I wish I could; the one face that I thought I once knew. 

Instantly, I jolted awake, pools of sweat surrounding me, my breathing alarmingly rapid. I felt a small tap on my right arm, and I turned to see the innocent face of the only person left in my life.  

"Mia, did you have a bad dream?" Toby asked in a small voice, his baby pink lips pressed in a straight line and his eyebrows pulled together.

I put him on my lap, stroking his hair soothingly, "No, sweetheart, don't worry about me," I replied gently, holding him close to my chest.

My baby brother wrestled free from my grip, offering out his teddy bear. It had been his favorite ever since he was born. "Do you want to hold teddy? He'll make you feel better," He smiled sweetly.

His innocence warmed my heart, and broke it at the same time. "Toby, he's yours darling. I'm okay, go back to sleep," I whispered, as he snuggled into my shirt.

"Kay...." He mumbled sleepily as his eyes fluttered shut and his tiny hands clutched his bear.

To this day, Toby knows nothing of Jack, and he never will, not until he's older, at the very least. I've had to tell him that we're going on a long vacation to Paris, and that Jack had to go to college. He knows nothing else. A four year old shouldn't have his innocence taken away by such a disgusting tragedy. His world is known as Sesame Street, teddy bears and coloring books. I cannot take that away from him; not yet.

I'm grateful he was at his learning group when it happened. I could never imagine what would've happened if he was there...

I'll always remember when he was born and my mom let me chose his name, but Jack spoke up and suggested Toby. It was such a lovely day.

I wish I could go back, and be in that happy bubble again with the family I loved.

****

Toby cradled in my arms, I rolled both our suitcases down the carpeted jetway once we were off the plane. Quickly, we exited the terminal, the double glass doors closing behind us as I place the suitcases next to me. I stepped one foot into the street, waving my arm for several minutes before eventually, a cab pulled up beside me.

"Où êtes-vous partez, mademoiselle?" (Where are you going, miss?) The cab driver asked me while rolling down one of the four windows.

"Pouvez-vous me conduire à paris s'il vous plaît?" (Can you take me to Paris please?) I replied as the driver got out and put our belongings in the trunk of his car.

Clambering into the back seat beside Toby, we waited before the driver got back in, pulling away from the sidewalk. In a blur, trees, glass buildings and crowds of people pass us. Nearing the grand city, I noticed the increase in tourists. Families with cameras strung around their necks, positioning their children next to monuments, and snapping pictures. A slight pang of envy hit my stomach, but I pushed it away hurriedly.

I handed the driver 10 euros as he pulled to a stop. Once everything was unloaded, I grabbed Toby's hand instinctively, wheeling the suitcases along the street until we eventually reached our apartment building. I had scheduled someone to drop off the rest of our luggage at the Canal St Martin, where our apartment was.

Inside, the apartment was light and bright, furnished nicely and complete with a beautiful balcony overall the magnificent view. Thankfully, the Uhaul turned up only a few minutes after we arrived, giving us our large stack of boxes.

"Mia, this is amazing!" Toby gasps, his light brown eyes twinkling.

I crouched down to reach his height, "I know, and guess what?"

"What?"

"This is where we'll be living! This place is all ours. How about you check out your room? It's right down the hallway." I said before Toby ran off to explore.