I will not try to be too deep about this story. Think of this merely as... as if you're witnessing the final chapters of a diary that... unexpectedly dies. A diary which dies with its author. Such a shame though. It would have made quite the entertaining story, maybe even a best seller! Sadly... it doesn't end in such a way, that would allow it to shared. Especially... from my perspective.
The one thing I've learned in my lifetime, is there's a thin line between love... and affliction. Its hard to really... try to explain this in the most, comprehensive fashion possible.
Growing up, I saw the pain in everyone I knew, that... lived this pretense of life. I hated it. It was empty... I was empty... the emptiness within drove me to the one and only thing, that allowed me to feel, and- have power... I never, felt so alive... I had this, where others had "love"... and, that's where love and affliction became synonymous for me. And... its a weird, awkward thing. Because now, I could no longer differentiate these things, and when I did find love...
So... I wasn't gay or queer, but... for the first time in my life, I found love, in a popular rock band of all things. These guys excited something in me, full of insatiable desire. I grew obsessive- my thoughts, my dreams, my hunger... I literally craved them, almost like, desiring to eat them. I actually wondered, what would their blood taste like...
Anyway, my name does not really matter, but I'll say Issac. My intro may or may not have given you a detailed idea of myself to form in your mind. I'm an average, nearly nerdy kind of guy. I'm not big on slang, and don't follow fashions. My dark hair is warn in a simple cut, parted to the side. A descent polo with slacks and sneakers, that's all I really need. And yes, to complete my... somewhat corporate casual facade, I also sport a pair of black framed glasses.
I lived in a... sizable city, no mega metropolis like New York or Memphis. Some place the size of Columbia, SC. My apartment is very quiet and simple, for the... kind of life I lead, there was no need for a fancy dwelling. Or even friends for that matter. I had only a sofa, TV, a bed with a night table in my bedroom; only what I absolutely needed. I worked part time at a gas station, and after my shift, would come straight home. I would occasionally see a movie... or treat myself to a restaurant, but... for the most part... I had to be home. Being away too long would... nearly put me to insanity. Because...
For the few who knew me, treated me like... heh, like a stranger. And... not that kind of stranger. People seemed unnerved by my presence. And the more they found out, or... found how little there was to know about me... only seemed more unsettled. It's... kinda difficult to... try to make people understand you... and worse, to know... the impossibility, for them to ever relate, or understand who you really are.
I've found myself less, and less affected by these worthless shits I was forced to spend any amount of my life with. But... the thing that... is soothing to me... is the knowledge of what I do have...
5:48am, Arriving home...
As soon as my shift is over, I'd head straight home to my little apartment, coming home no later than 6am. Anyone else would fear arriving home at such hours in the dark. Well... my only reason to rush through my doors, is surely not fear... my unbridled anticipation. Its no way I can miss it... Everyone's... counting on me.
I didn't even change clothes, only grabbed a beer, and fixated myself to... my second job. There's a second bedroom I use as a makeshift office. Several laptops I've set up to handle and store my transactions, to store several digital goods, and to monitor, track and anonymize my activity.
6:06am, Preparation...
The primary laptop, my favorite one, a Vaio, was turned on and I brought up a special VPN that I actually programmed myself, allowing me to connect to several networks. I come to a particular site, to log into my, administrative account. Immediately, I saw a line up of "webcams" ready for me... Webcams in which, I'm the "director" of... I see my list of current viewers. 85 viewers. That's gooood money.
YOU ARE READING
I am Addicted, They are Afflicted - an MIW story
HorrorAfter my first concert to Motionless in White, I knew... they were my perfect ones. Chris... he's anyone's heartthrob. So powerful, larger than life... yet has that tender side, his weak point... Devin Sola, the little weird eccentric one... I want...