CHAPTER 1
Silence. Pure silence. But it wasn’t the normal silence like when everybody goes to bed and the city is quiet. It was the type that was poisonous and lingers in the midst of the air. As if there is a venomous snake about to follow threw with its threats and was preparing to strike.
I shivered as my foot touched the cold wooden floors of my room. I flicked the lights off and the darkness filled the room. Realizing that the lights were off, I ran to the other side of the room and jumped onto my bed like a trigger was pulled inside of my brain. I haven’t been scared of the dark since I was 6. But, just the very thought of what will happen when the daylight comes scares me.
I cringed just thinking about the thought about tomorrow. It’s supposed to be a “magical day”. But, all it is to me is foolish and unfair. It’s not something that should make you jump for joy. It’s the day of horror; the day of broken glass shattering onto the grey concrete. Tomorrow is the day where my fate is chosen just by one small thought in my brain. Where if I think something wrong, I could go to a place nobody wants to go, your nightmares forever.
The whole process is really complicated. They connect wires somehow to your brain and put you into a world. A world where there’s no light. They throw out random threats and see what you think or do in that situation. But, you have many options. One of your options is to hunt for food, which puts you into a survival category. Another one is to stay there and find higher ground, which puts you into a Responsible category. Those are the only one’s that I am aware of. But each strategy you do leads up to a tally that is either good or bad.
I hugged my knees against my chest and exhaled the carbon dioxide that was kept within me. Looking down into the shadows, I bit my lip and tasted the bittersweet blood that filled my mouth.
As I forced myself to swallow my pride and be strong, I glared up at the mystical moon asking for help. The clouds just slightly covered the inner edges of the light. There were no stars. There never has been. Well, none that I’ve known of. But, my mother used to tell me stories about why the stars weren’t in the sky. Every night when I was little, I wandered out onto the porch of our home and stared at the sky and saw the moon. It was absolutely mesmerizing. The light shined onto my little head and sparkled. I remember just smiling and laughing at those times. I was actually happy.
It was always midnight and I could never fall asleep. So when my mother couldn’t find me in my bed, she looked out of our crystal window and saw me standing on my little feet trying to balance on my tip-toes. I heard her laughing and I could tell she was coming outside to because I could smell the scent of perfume in the air.
“Awe what are you doing outside Allesia?” My mother laughed. “It’s freezing out here!” she said startled by the temperature. Her shadow showed her rubbing her gentle hands across her chest and onto her shoulders. I didn’t mind her being out there. She actually brought me a comforting spirit. Actually, more like hope. She had such a sweet attitude and always knew what to say.
Anyways, whenever I was outside she would stroll over towards me gracefully and wrap her arms around me tightly. We always stayed there for a few seconds then she’d tickle me out of nowhere.
I’d giggle and jump all around the balcony like a ballerina. My mother’s nickname for me was actually her little ballerina. I adored dancing till my hearts desire. We’d always sit down on the bench and watch the sky and wonder what went beyond the galaxies.
She used to tell me that there were once stars. But then one day a rich man made a bet with a poor townsman who lived in a small shack just north from the beach. The bet was that if the poor man could collect all of the stars with nobody else’s help, he said that he would give the man his money to have a better life. Fortunately, the townsman collected all the stars and was given his reward. Once he got the money he didn’t spend it on himself though. For the man was generous, so he gave it to everybody he knew that was in need. I want to be like him someday.
My mother also told me that the stars would glisten onto sea like the blazing sun even though it was the dim night.
I normally raced over to the coast below our home and played in the water. I danced and danced my heart out as the weaves crashed and I tiptoed myself above the waves.
A lot of my girls my age just played with their toys for fun. But I didn’t find that anywhere near as fun as playing in the water. The sea lasts forever and ever. That’s one of the things I loved about it. I also loved the feeling of the water rushing up my skin and the sounds were so soothing. I’ve always had a connection with the ocean for some reasons .If I ever felt lonely, or frustrated I would climb down the rocky hills and sit on the soft sand. Those were the best days.
But, ever since my mother past away, everything fell apart. I can’t think straight without breaking out into warm tears that roll down my burning red face. When she died I remember just thinking, “Who am I?” Those weren’t the very best thoughts to be thinking when I was younger. They made a big impact on which type of person I am today. A serious 14 year old.
I can still hear her voice whispering in my ear. I smile and laugh a little bit just thinking about those memories. I suddenly remember the salty bittersweet taste and scent of the scenes in my memories.
Quickly after my small flash backs in time, I snapped back into reality as quick as lightning. I frowned as the worst memories came to my mind.
The door slamming open with voices entering our home. My Mother screaming as she told me to run away from the creatures that was capturing her. I cried and shouted her name but all I got back were the echoes of my own voice. She was gone.
My eyes began to fill up with moist tears. I bit the collar of my shirt and was gagging on my own breath. I held all the air inside me in. I panted slowly as I grasped onto the pole of my bed. It was no use in holding back the tears. I was alone in the darkness with no light. No sign to guide me to where I’m supposed to go in this cruel world. Where I could be lost in my nightmares if I kept these thoughts up.
As soon as I got grip on the good things about life, I stopped crying. My horrifying emotions shrunk down to sad. At least I wasn’t crying my eyes out anymore. My face was sticky and dry. I hated that feeling. I felt like crap whenever that happened.
When I was younger and was hanging out with my best friend, she told me her strategies when she was feeling down. She always thought of 3 bad things that really popped up then she’d think of 7 good things. She would say them out loud and take deep breathes. I’ve been doing that strategy ever since.
I started to list 3 things that really screamed in my head.
Nightmares, Bullies, The dark
I had more than 7 things that I enjoyed about life so that helped me feel a lot better.
Family, Friends, The Ocean, Dancing, Running, Writing Songs, Daydreaming
I then took deep breaths.
1….In…..2….Out….3…..In….4….Out.
I exhaled my last breath and tightened my body. I then let loose of my tight muscles. As I began to relax, my vision got blurry. The last thing I saw was my plain white wall hovering over my head. Eventually, it was pitch black.
