Pretending you're different from everyone else can be magical. It can be astounding. It can be spectacular. It can be like everything you've ever wanted. Sometimes you don't even realize the things you are doing are not even real. You let everyting get over your head. You know in the back of your mind it's not real but you don't want to believe it so you keep carrying on. You keep pretending. You keep believing that somewhere out there, there is hope. Until someone has to tell you it isn't real. It isnt in existance. You don't want to believe it but you know you have to. You know it's the truth. You know it's reality. It is that moment when you then realize that you were hurting some of the people that you care about the most. That you let them down. To know that you betrayed someone who trusted you is a horrible feeling. You feel terrible. You try to tell them you're sorry but you don't know if they'll ever forgive you. You want them to, but you know it is not that simple. When you tell them you're sorry they say it's okay, but do they really mean it? Do they really forgive you? You can only hope. And learn from your mistakes.
