"Jack stop," I said as Jack grabbed my arm. His grip sent tingles through my forearm and into my finger tips, his eyes pleading. But the pleading didn't reach the rest of his face. His broken expression a reminder of the all the bruises and fake smiles that I knew all too well.
"Rae I didn't mean to, it was an accident," Jack cried, his fingers beginning to press against bone. Tears burned at the back of my throat, clawing at me to let them out, but I couldn't let him see I was hurting. He would think I was weak and I couldn't be that anymore.
"Jack let go of me!" I yelled. I pulled at his fingers with my free hand, struggling against his strength, but he grabbed my arm with his left hand, rendering me useless. I growled in frustration.
"Rae I can't let go of you, just stay here, please. I didn't mean to -"
"Yes you did! All you ever do is use me." I shouted. I thrashed in his grip, while the tears I had tried to suppress fell out of my eyes like bullets. His lip twitched and his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, sending me into a panic. I tried again to be free of his hands but to no avail.
Our eyes were locked together, and for a second things were in slow motion. I saw every single inch of his face full of... nothing. He had no remorse. His eyes were lifeless and glazed over with an emotion I could only describe as empty pain and guilt for doing what he thought he'd never do.
I realized I was in the air too late, when my body collided with the kitchen counter, the marble slab hitting the lower half of my ribs a crack rippling through the air. Air whistled through my teeth, a whisper of a scream.
I slid down to the floor, my head was spinning from the debilitating pain coming from the side of my chest. A whimper escaped my lips. I felt my backpack slide down my arm next to me with as many clothes and things I could shove in it. The feeling of home overwhelmed me as I felt it against me, sending me into a warm sunny place for just a millisecond. And then...
"Rae I never want to lose you," Jack said, his breath hot on my face. I opened my eyes as he kissed my lips which were soft and hot and... I didn't move. I couldn't kiss him back. This man I thought I loved, was... psychotic. I winced at the word.
"Jack," I whispered against his lips. He pulled back looking at me with his brown puppy dog eyes. This time they wouldn't work. "Jack will you get me ice?" I looked to where I held my side, and he followed my gaze, his innocent expression gone.
He got up from his kneeling position, and walked to the fridge, grabbing a bag of frozen vegetables and handed them to me, his face unchanging. I took them and pressed them on my throbbing chest. My face twisted in agony.
"I'm gonna take your bag back in the bedroom." Jack said. He lifted my backpack off the floor and continued walking towards our bedroom door.
"Ill meet you in there." I responded through gritted teeth, putting my hand on the tile in an attempt to lift myself onto my feet. Pain spidered through my chest as I moved, and I cried out, my face contorted.
"Let me help," I heard Jack say from the other room. Please no, I thought. I heard his footsteps grow closer until I felt his hands under my armpits, dragging me to my feet. The ease of it scared me. My ribs hurt so bad that I was about to pass out. Moving hurt. Breathing hurt. Thinking hurt.
"Jack I need the hospital." I blurted out. I opened my eyes letting out a waterfall of tears. His face looked conflicted as he stared into my eyes, distantly, deep in thought.
After a few seconds of silence, he finally looked at me with life. "You can't tell them, Rae. If you do I swear..." His hands pressed the sides of my face, forcing me to look at him. "I love you." He said. I closed my eyes and swallowed. Say it Rae, I thought, just say it.
