I have never felt more like myself.
Stop and think about that sentence for a second.
In my 19 years of life I have never felt like myself.
When I woke up, when I went to sleep or when I ate or did anything,
I never felt like I was the one doing it.
It was this constant loop of me doing what I was "supposed" too.
But right here, right now under the shinning lights and on the sweaty dance floor,
Being pressed so close to him that I can practically taste the vodka on his breath,
Wanting to taste the vodka on his breath and loving the way his eyes follow me while I move my hips to the music,
Right here in this fucking club I have never felt more important, more worthy and more alive.
Right here with him I have never ever felt more myself.
Oh and how I love it. I love the thrill and the excitement.
Right here as I grind my hips onto his I never thought I would want something so bad- need something so bad.
And maybe it is the liquor in my veins making me feel this way.
Because I could never be this bold sober.
Or maybe it's his eyes.
He has never looked at me like that before.
And I want him to keep looking, it makes me feel so good inside.
I can tell in his eyes that he is surprised I was being so... so, - loose.
But I could also tell he loves it.
Almost as much as I love the way he is gazing at me.
I have never felt this good.
Or maybe it's just me.
Maybe I want him right here right now. Despite what I have been taught.
But what I have been taught isn't important - at least not right now.
And as he holds my hand and leads me upstairs to his bed, I have never been more ready.
I have thought about my first time before and I never pictured this.
One being that I thought it was impossible. I never thought I would disobey.
But as he lays on top of me and kisses me softly I find myself in another dimension.
A dimension that I never want to leave.
I know he loves me.
And after all the excitement is over and things get really- really bad he will still be here.
He will be right here next to me.
And as crazy as it sounds.
I know,
God wanted me to have him.
God gave me this to keep.God brought me sin.
YOU ARE READING
Sin.
FanfictionI asked god to bring me an angel but instead he brought me you. And you are the best thing I have ever had. UNDER EDITING.