I swallowed the inner feeling,
I almost choked.
I looked to the others,
and how they joked.
I pushed past,
plastering the fake smile,
they never noticed,
that I'm a sad child
"There she goes."
They say in disgust,
I turn around and walk on,
Although I cussed.
They never understand,
that things aren't always good for them
It takes a minute for them to say "Your fat."
And it takes years for them to feel like a gem.
They spend years starving themselves,
For nothing.
But that was your fault.
With the hurt you bring.
I walk back home,
cracking.
I feel the hurt.
Aching.
My stomachs in knots,
and my head is pounding.
I push all the thoughts away.
Putting on another smile, acting.
I walk to the bathroom
finding the blade.
and raising my sleeve.
Seeing a dark shade.
The other cuts are visable,
And touching them hurts,
But it helps with my inner ache,
and helps with discomforts.
The words hurt.
worse than knives.
but they don't realize that.
They have horrible lives.
I put the blade to my skin,
and press down,
it's harder than usual.
drawing enough to drawn.
I drew enough.
I had gone unconcious.
And I was gone.
No coming back.
