here's to the stranger

crush

here's to the stranger who has somehow earned the curse of being my crush,

           i knew you for the one and a half year that i had gone to high school. [ junior high in american terms ]

           i always thought you were cute, but didn't pursue you because you had a girlfriend. who wants to start drama with anyone during high school? no one-exactly.

           when i saw you in the hall you always seemed bored with your relationship. then a few days later i found out it was because your girlfriend was basically forcing you to be in a relationship. i heard she was gonna do suicide if you didn't go back out with her after the first time you broke up with her.

           this year, in ninth grade, we finally started talking. but not for the reasons i thought. 

           my friend showed her interests in you first, but when you said she wasn't your type, i took a leap of faith and started showing my interest in you.

           it really started with a bag of takis. i had asked you for some from your friend and you said you would gve me some-you just had to steal them from him. and when you finally did, you ran straight to me to give me some. 

           that's what started us. though it's not in the romantic type, it's all i can really hope for right now.

           a week or two ago, i finally told a close guy friend i liked you. he was shocked that it was you i liked. y'know when they say no one has a type, but yet the people they date have the same criteria the ex does? yeah, you didn't fall into any of that criteria. absolutely nothing about you.

           though he promised he wouldn't say anything about it to you-he broke it. [ i am still trying to figure out if that was a good or bad thing ] at lunch that day he pulled you away from me and my other two friends, and also your guy friend.

           he had you over there for about a minute before both of you came back.

           as our mutual guy friend leaned on my shoulder, he asked everyone if they thought i was pretty. you did the cutest little smile i've ever seen you wear, and nodded, agreeing with him. 

           i've only blushed two time in my life-yet there you were. making me blush for a third.

           two days after that tuesday, on thursday, you asked me to walk a certain way. it was directed for just me-yet my friend decided to be a douche and ignore the innuedo lying beneath that.

           on friday, my friend asked if you liked me, after they told you that i liked you. the first thng you said?

           "there's another girl."

           everytime anyone brings up me liking you, everytime you say the same thing. "there's another girl." though people might think it hurt, it kinda didn't. 

           right now, as i am writing this at two am, you might not be all that i thought you were.

           don't take it as a negative, but don't take it as a positive. 

           i just thought you were gonna be a crush. but i guess, you aren't.

           the great thing? i don't feel bad about it.

           the thing about it though is, everyone expects me to chase after you like a dog, but i won't. there's one i guy i would do hat for, but that's another story. 

           have fun with that other girl.

so, here's to the stranger who got the curse of being my 'crush.'

                              sincerely, 

                                        jackie.