The Case of the Dangerous Curves

Chapters 16-20

Chapter 16

"Bruce Ur, Federal Savings and Loan, how may I help you today."

"Good Morning Bruce," I said jauntily, "how are the wife and kids?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Mr. Rony, how nice to hear from you. What can I help you with today? Are you looking to make some investments?"

"Why yes I am, I want to invest very heavily in my future, but I'm not sure which way to go. I've got to, ah, liquidate some assets and I'm giving you a chance to compete with another company to see who can dispose of them first." I lit one of Ernesto's cigars and exhaled with satisfaction. There was another moment of silence on the phone and I could hear Bruce writing.

"I see. Who is our erstwhile competitor?" he finally asked.

"It's that public company, the really big one that likes to boast about their ethics. You know, Flatfoot and Company?" I laughed as I imagined the trouble Bruce must be having keeping his face expressionless and his voice bland. "I haven't called them yet because I'm giving you the chance to get here first. I have a feeling you would wind up with assets anyway, but this there's also a good chance that a larger outfit loosely affiliated with Flatfoot would snatch them away from you and that would be a shame."

"What are these assets that you want to dispose of?" he asked brusquely.

"Well, in the interests of full disclosure, they're not my assets, but I just happen to be holding them," I replied. "They belong to a married couple that I've recently become acquainted with, but they're not feeling to well. I think they're suffering from E. Coli or something like that," I told him.

"That's indeed regrettable," Bruce murmured. "I do hope they get to feeling better soon, that's a nasty sickness."

"Especially this strain," I agreed. "Unfortunately, one of the cases appears to be terminal, but I think the spouse should make a full recovery, unless something untoward happens to him."

"Indeed, we wouldn't want that," replied Bruce distractedly. "Where should I send my appraiser so he can look at the property."

"It's the old Same place," I answered brightly and gave him the address with an admonition that his competitors would be wanting the same information. I hung up on Bruce and then dialed a second number. I figured with this one, I could be more direct.

"Homicide, Sergeant Lightfoot speaking." He sounded bored.

"Flatfoot! I've got an urgent one for you," I told him. Ernesto glared at me so I smiled broadly and waved at him.

"Rony," sighed the cop heavily. "I was just sitting here thinking that crime is down, it's a beautiful day and I could probably sneak out early to see a movie and head out to the country for some fishing. My phone rings, interrupting this beautiful fantasy and it's you. Now I've got a headache and my the acid in my stomach is jumping into my esophagus. What do you want?"

"I'm looking at a very much alive Ernesto Coli and the very dead body of his wife, Elizabeth. She was shot by him and I've got him on ice, but I don't want him because he's making the rest of the freezer smell bad."

"Have I ever told you how funny you are?" Flatfoot grated, "if not, it's because you're not. Coli and his wife are dead, you even identified the photo of her."

"Yeah, but that wasn't her and it wasn't him. I've got them both on ice at their old house up in the hills, but she's going to be ripe soon and his condition isn't getting any better."

"Where are you?" he demanded and I gave him the address. "Oh, the old Same place. I'll be there shortly and you'd better be on the level with me."