Fight For Life

chapter one: gone

Hunger, that's all that is really registering to me right now. Looking up at the shadowy sky my stomach groans, yes. It's finally dark enough to go out. Wordlessly I walk out, the pine needles muffling my steps. Swish. What was that? I turn around, to find myself face to face with my eyes. Wait, no, not mine. Gem's, her stormy blue eyes mirroring my own.

"Go to sleep, Gem!" roughly I turn around, she can't follow me out here, it's too dangerous. I want her to, really. Each time I leave I'm worried, but we need to eat too. "Aurora," Dang those big blue eyes, they're so hard not to cave in to.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm... uh... doing big girl stuff." It's not the truth. It's not a lie. It's transparent, but it's going to have to do. I don't have a choice anymore.

"No you're not." Why does she need to pick up on everything? I sigh and hug her deliberately.

"I'll be back in the morning. Go to sleep now." Casting me one more reproachful glance she walks inside. "Sleep tight" I whisper, and walk into the night.

Everything can hear me coming. It's no use. I'm no good at this, not like Dad was. But I keep trying. I have to. I'm all Gem's got now, and they are not going to take her away from me. Posy follows me, I can't stop it. At least he's a silent predator. Me? I might as well be a giant for all the noise I'm making.

"Shhh..." Posy turns an amber eye on me, but doesn't hiss. Instead he flattens ears on his head, making him look just like an ashy ghost. We both know I'm the only one making noise. Crunch. Okay, this time that definitely was not me. I look around glaring accusingly at Posy, until I see it. It's a deer, standing off in the distance. Can I do this? Kill this majestic animal? I think about Gem at home, growing thinner each day. Deer is her favorite. Steeling myself I grab an arrow from my back and pull back. When I was little I used to do this. My dad used to joke about me growing up and being an archer for the King' s army. I was too precious to him for that. With a twang I let go of the arrow, sending it into the woods and narrowly missing. I hit a tree, so much for sharp shooter. And the deer is gone. Wonderful, just wonderful.

Gem looks so peaceful in her sleep. The sun streams through the patchwork that's our roof now. I take a breath as the light plays through her hazel hair, now a forest of tangles. She's still so young, but you would never be able to tell in the day. She's young enough to skin her knees and stain her dresses. She's young enough to not think a brush has anything to do with her hair. She still has the childish innocence, naive ness. You can't tell. The only time Gem really looks the way she should is at night, when a smile flickers across her lips, when all her stress lines are erased. I stand in the doorway just watching her. When had she stopped looking like this all the time? Sighing I walk in, dumping the little amount of game I'd managed to hit. She shouldn't have to deal with this.

I still remember when everything started. They were here a week ago, but the withdrawal, the carelessness, started way before any of that. I never believed that it could happen to us, that it could happen to me. What comes next sounds so cliché, something straight out of a movie. I used to laugh at the movies that did this, but when I think back, that looking-into-the-distance-at-a-flashback-thing is exactly what I see.

* * *

I throw my jacket over a chair, glad to finally be in the warmth at home again. I shiver, thinking of what if I was stuck outside looking in? Thank God I'm not. The house smells good, like stew. Yay! Daddy must have brought home a deer today! That rarely ever happened, and when it did, it was always an occasion. Sitting by the window, I'm wondering something I've never asked before. Why does daddy hunt? Everyone knows that it is illegal, but it does add food to our table. We aren't poor; mommy came from a rich district. Daddy works in the offices, designing new buildings for the Royale. He hates it, but at least it doesn't pay too badly. We're never really hungry anyway. I don't really know how much it pays, but our cottage is cozy and our bellies somewhat filled. He's even taken me hunting with him a couple times. Every time something dies, he prays for it, apologizing. So why does he hunt? I resolve that I am going to ask him as soon as he comes home. Where is he, anyway? The deer is here...