When Did I Change?

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I don't have a specific point when I realised that I had changed. There were so many synonyms for it. Ichinose would use metamorphosis. Not a shiny new version, but a transformation. I had emerged from the black class as a stark contrast from my former self, as an evolved organism changing not only for survival, as a result of survival.
My clan would call it conversion, a forceful assault on my psyche, well, they might've been right in the beginning. But there was a moment when I became willing and that was entirely by choice. If that's their word for it, then absolution would describe where I now stood. That's not the end of the story though. There were so many things I hadn't known or experienced, of life, myself, and Ichinose.
If the world is full of forgiveness, then consider me a sinner praying on my knees.
The biggest first step towards this foreign existence was when Ichinose provided oxygen as I sunk in that cage. I stayed up tossing for hours, questioning whether that was all it had been. Why the thought bothered me so much. Every part of my being wanted to protect her, even the dusty bits I couldn't seem to reach on my own anymore.
Maybe that's how I ended up here, hand clammy, knees shaking, about to slide open a door in a hospital ICU.

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