Remain My Drug, My Desire

30

-Sway's POV-

When we pulled up to Andy's house I could see everyone. Kells, Taylor, Juliet, Danny and Andy's friends. They all must have been looking for me. Andy stopped the car and got out. I waited for him to come and get me. He opened my door, "Do you think you can walk now?" he asked. I didn't say anything, I just looked down, feeling ashamed of myself. How much pain did I put him in? How much pain did I put everyone in? Andy reached in and grabbed me, holding me.

"Oh my god Sway!" Taylor yelled, she was the first person who had run over. She grabbed a hold of my hand, and squeezed it tight, "Don't you ever do that again! You scared the living shit out of me! Out of everyone!" Taylor scolded. As much as I wanted to blame myself, all I wanted was to lay down. Not have everyone around. At least not right now. I wiggled in Andy's arm, and he slowly put me down. I stumbled my way away from everyone.

"Sway where are you going?" Andy called, catching up. I pointed to the front door, and went inside.

"You had us worried sick Sway!" Kells said.

"You've been gone for a whole week, and like three, almost four days," Juliet added.

"We flew in to help look for you!" Jake said.

"It's a good thing you are okay!" CC added, everyone was on my heals. I couldn't handle another moment. I couldn't take another word from someone. I stopped walking, and turned around and faced them all. Screaming.

"Sway, baby why are you screaming?" Andy asked, I looked over to see that Ashley has joined Taylor, and that there was a crowed of people standing around me. I screamed again.

"Just go away! All of you!" I screamed. "Okay I get it you found me! You were worried! But for fucks sake go the hell away!" I yelled.

"Sway, sweetheart. Listen we were all just worried. There is no need to yell," Andy stated.

"Just leave me only! Please!" I said, tears starting to fall. "I can't handle this many people right now. I just can't..." I started to take deep breaths.

"Sway, what happened... Why did you leave?" Kells asked.

"I needed to be alone.... I needed time alone. And not have everyone around me asking questions." I told him.

"What happened with your mom?" he asked.

"She said, she wish she would have had an abortion, and that she was planning on it. She didn't want to stay in contact with me, in fear that I would ruin her perfect life," I said, feeling the tears, and the pain of the memory come back. "And Uncle Ben, all he could say was how he wish he took my away, but never did.... He could have, but he didn't want too.... I know he didn't. And then dad had hung himself.... I have no one."

"That's bullshit! You have me. You have us." Andy said.

"That's not good enough! I want my mom, I want my dad! Can you give that to me?" I screamed at him.

"I can give you the best I can angel!" Andy yelled back at me.

"Please stop calling me that! I'm not a fucking angel Andy! I'm not a beautiful mess, I'm just a fuck up! I'm a big fuck up! I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore! I don't know why you are still with me! I don't know why you people stay my friends!" I screamed, "I can't love any of you anyways! And here you all stand. Saying you care, you love, but I can't return that to you! I am shit! Worthless, pointless shit! Now fuck off!" and with that I stormed away, and locked myself in the bathroom. I stripped from my dirty clothes, and I filled the big bathtub up with hot water. I then got in, and laid down in the hot water. Just then the door opened, and Andy walked in. I was about to yell at him, but he held up a hand.

"My bathroom." he said.

"Our. Bathroom." I quietly said.

"They left." he said.

"Do they hate me?" I asked, Andy shook his head.

"Do you mind if I sit in here with you? We don't have to talk.... You can still have your thoughts. But I want to be with you." Andy said, I slowly nodded my head, and Andy sat down on the bathroom rug leaning against the bathtub, his back facing me. As much as it scared me, and as much as I wanted to run and avoid it.... I was sure as hell feeling it. I placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Do you mind helping me? I just don't have the energy." I said. Andy turned around, and sat on knees.

"Of course angel," he said, giving me a quick kiss and then grabbing the body wash. I was soon enjoying his gentle touch. I was glad to be back home.

(Sorry I know its short.... Fair warning. The story is coming to an end......)