About me

being hurt by the ones who thought loved you

for the past year I have made new friends that cared , loved me, wanted to be apart of my life , but apparently they just wanted to use me either for my connections or my friends and or for them to over power you by my weaknesses. im not going to use names in this we will just start with friend #1 she became my friend threw orchestra. she was sweet and caring and nice to me but the thing I found out that summer after school that she was vary suicidal. being the kind of person I am well I am caring and can be a bitch a lot. the part of me that is caring wanted to help her bc she was broken and ik how it feels to be broken I mean that's all my life really is. but my friend she was really broken bc her parents were getting a divorce and she was going threw her "emo" phase so she said oh hey just bc my parents are going threw a divorce that I should start cutting. and so when she would cut she would send me photos of all the cuts and all the things she did to her self and I would worry about her but hen that summer I got a boyfriend and he was sweet caring until one night so my bf and my friend became friends really good friends like you would think that they were dating. it was kinda weird bc since I didn't have an I phone I had to use Skype if I wanted to video chat him. so I got Skype and half the time I had it I would Skype him for maybe a few hours then he would leave to go Skype my friend and sometimes if I had nothing to do I would txt him and ask him "hey can I Skype you?" and he was like "sorry I cant im skyping friend #1" and I understand that they where friends and all but I mean he was on a call with her for every night and it kinda hurt that he actually never talked to me then when he would he would only say a few words and when we skyped we never really talked bc we didn't talk enough to have a regular conversation. but one night they were skyping and they were playing a game and she had to strip infrount of him and then he did it back and after that night they kept it a secret from me and he said that he felt guilty to our friend and he was like please don't tell abby but she couldn't keep something like this from me so I get a text from her say this happened and I texted him and said is this true and then asked him if he had feelings for her and he said yes and that's where all the trust in the world that I had went. Gone. forever. that day that I was told that I went into my cousins room bc I was at my aunts house that day and I just cried for about three hours. kniowing that I just got hurt by someone who said that they loved me and just me. that I was all there life someone who said I was there one and only and that they loved me to do something like that to me made me think that had just broke my world and because of it I didn't want to talk to him I was just avoiding him for as long as I could because just looking at one text that he sent me bc he was blowing up my phone with ,messages and calls looking at one thing would make me break out in tears so I finally looked at my phone 17 messages and 7 miss calls. and the thing he said was sorry then made some excuse about it and I just cried for as long as I remember and my dad looks over at me [btw my dad was living with my aunt bc of family problems ill make a chapter later ] and he asks are u ok baby? and I said yea bc my dad already didn't like him it would of just gotten worse if he found out that he hurt his little girl. so I lied. and he just kissed my head and said "anthing thsat happened to you will be ok with time I love u baby girl " I just said " thx daddy I love you too " but I eventually got over the fact that he did that and I forgave her but its 7 months later and I regret everything I did to forgive both of them.