Confused Feelings ( Lucas Coly Story )

1.

Yazmeen Diaz

As I was in my room on laptop I seen on YouTube "Diamondz" had posted a new song . I mentally rolled my eyes because this just means when we go to school tomorrow people are gonna be all on they dicks. Nothing new honestly , I had nothing against them tho they cool people we weren't friends but we didn't dislike each other it was a neutral thing I guess . Although my bestfriend Brandi was in love with Will . She'd talk to me about his ass constantly , hell she could probably tell me what kind of draws he was gone wear to school tomorrow . Lol naw I'm not gone play my friend like that .

Let me introduce myself properly. I'm Yazmeen Diaz ( Ya-z-Mean De-Az ) 18 year old Senior at Johnston High , A lame ass school filled with a bunch of ignorant people. I'm fully black just light skinned , the only reason my name sounds like a Latinas is because I was adopted by a African American woman named Denise and a Half African American Half Hispanic Man named Dewayne . I'm their only child , I do know my biological parents but they are no longer here with us . I'm not spoiled nor am I poor , I'm just your normal average teenager . I'm not really into the whole drama stuff or fighting stuff just only when it's needed . I'm laid back you know , I like the chilling watching a movie type of stuff nun major . Food is my soulmate , I'd marry the kitchen if I could , you feel me? I'm talking about making love to some chicken and Mac n cheese , lord let me calm down because i'd Forreal take my fat ass down to the kitchen Bol .

After listening to the song , I got on Periscope and watched what Lucas had posted , lord he's fine . But I'm not gonna follow these other little girls around . I'm my own leader but don't get me wrong sometimes you gotta follow in order to lead . I sent a few hearts and hopped off turning my tv on and watched my favorite tv show OITNB ! I was into it laughing my ass off , I got quiet when I heard the hallway light flick on I hid under the covers from whoever was about to enter my room. My door opened and my mom started to approach my bed , and snatched the covers off of me .

" Girl take yo butt to bed you have to be up in 3 hours you know your morning is about to be rough and stop all that loud laughing you killing our vibe little girl " - mom
" awe come on mom that was nasty yo , I can't even sleep I'm boreddddd " - Yaz
" girl hush this ain't nun new , if you was sleep you wouldn't be bored. Try to get a little bit of rest Yaz " -mom

As she reached down to kiss my forehead I swerved her reaaal fast .

" you been slobbing on the knob " I raised my eyebrows .

She mushed my head and smacked her lips . " shut up heffa " . She turned and headed out my door but suddenly turned around . " you have the house to yourself these next 2 and half weeks me & dad are gonna go visit grandma & papa , you can't go because you have school , don't have no parties , you can have company just don't be irresponsible , you know what condoms and birth control pills are Yaz , I'm trusting you" .

" Ohkay mama , tell them I love them & yes ma'am I understand and I'll follow your rules".

She nodded and proceeded to shut my door . " OH ! Mommmaaaa " She peeked back in " yes Yaz ? "
" I love you to mom " She smiled and shut my door .

I swear I'm sooooo appreciative of my foster parents because I could still be in the system or get the worst kind of parents or be somewhere lost but they took me in , gave me love & guided me and for it I'll ALWAYS love them .

I rolled over and closed my eyes , slowly falling into a deep slumber with a smile planted on my face , in my head thanking GOD for all he's done for me and blessed me with , I'm honestly a lucky girl , I couldn't ask for anything else.

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I heard my alarm going off and huffed real loud . I should've listened to mom I feel like that was only 20 minutes of sleep for me . I got up and went to my closet pulling out my Black leggings with my black and white Tupac t-shirt with my black and white adidas . I walked to bathroom and took another quick shower since I took one last night.
I rinsed off and washed my hair I started to think about how school was going to be when I got there . I cut the water off taking 2 towels and wrapping one around my body and the other around my hair and stepping out walking to my room . I dried off applying my deodorant and lotion and putting my bra and underwear on along with my socks . I went to my vanity and applied my mascara and eyeliner along with some lip gloss and perfume I carefully pulled on my shirt and pants along with my shoes and started on my hair I just put the top half in a bun and the bottom half was in its curly state and down , I put my earrings on and my rings and headed downstairs .

Reaching the bottom I walked past the couch and seen my mom and dads suitcases , they had about 5 each , like damn y'all tryna move on a bitch or something . I walked in the kitchen and greeted both of them and grabbed a banana and 3 strawberries with a water bottle . I sat at the table and started talking to my parents .

" so how are my two energizer bunnies " - Yaz
" haha real funny apple head ass , that's all you gone eat ? " - Dad
" You know that girl don't eat at breakfast time but she'll tear up some lunch or dinner " - mom
" you know this mane , I'm not in the mood I'm grouchy because I didn't get my full rest " I said pouting .
" naaah don't start I told you last night , you should've listened" - mom
" well then that's your fault Babygirl " - dad
" Shit we gotta go catch our flight , come on De ! We love you sweetie, I'll send some money from my account to your card around 11:30 ". - mom said while taking her bags to dads car .
" ok Yaz moms leaving her car for you be responsible and I'll send some money as well hurry to school big head , we love you". - dad
" I love you horny toads too " I said laughing , he reached down and mushed my head then kissed my forehead and headed out the doors with his bags and shut the door.

I looked at the clock and finished my banana while grabbing the keys and heading out the door locking it in the process. As I took off up the road I prayed today would be a good day.