Septiplier One-Shots

my pokémon brings all the boys to the yard

brought to you by @/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts, thank you beb ✨

btw I changed my url, don't hate me.

fluff; 1790

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It had been a busy enough day in Mark's opinion. He'd managed to get a few scenes of a skit done with Matt and Ryan, who had gone home around an hour ago. It was about half seven now. Chica had eaten and had been let outside for a while to do her business and run around. Mark stayed inside, watching her through the sliding glass door as he was tired after today and didn't have the energy to join her.

His mind wandered to his phone and he decided to open up the app Pokemon GO to see if there were any in range that he wouldn't have to walk for. A Polywag and a Gengar popped up and he quickly caught them both before closing the app in favor of checking his Twitter, which held his rapt attention until Chica started up frantic barking.

Mark looked up just in time to see a lanky man fall from the top of the fence, rolling off clumsily and landing harshly on his rear. It would have been funny if not for a fact that the strange man was trespassing. Mark moved quickly as Chica cornered the man. She wasn't an aggressive dog, but she knew how to be intimidating. Still, Mark didn't want his baby girl getting hurt. He had no way of knowing if the stranger was dangerous.

"Chica!" He called, waving his hand to the now-open door. "In the house. Go lay down."

The retriever obeyed instantly, tongue lolling out and flopping as she ran into the house. The stranger was visibly shaken and scared speechless, forearms hiding his face defensively and knees pulled up to his chest as he was unaware that the dog wouldn't have hurt him. Mark stood over him now, brows knitted together and arms crossed over his chest and looking every bit a stern parent about to scold a child. After what felt like years of staring eachother down, he finally spoke up.

"Well if you had a weapon you'd have used it by now. No offense but hand-to-hand I'd kick your ass. Next time you rob someone-" Mark began, but a lighter, accented voice cut him off.

"Oh God, I'm not a burglar! I'm just tryin' te get to this damn Gengar!" And with that, the Irishman picked his phone off the ground to show Mark, as well as revealing his face. "Outside th' fence was too far."

Mark sadly understood the struggle. There were times he'd thought about going as close as possible to a stranger's house as socially acceptable after a particular Pokemon, but he'd never actually crossed that line. He glanced from the phone to the smaller man, first noticing the thick eyebrows and early greying hair before noticing the intense blue eyes looking at him, pupils pinpricks that still displayed fear. Despite the grey he looked no older than Mark, possibly a bit younger.

Mark wasn't mad now that he knew he wasn't being robbed, but an idea popped into his head. He unfolded his arms to settle his hands on his hips, taking on as much of a domineering posture as he could without overdoing it and looking ridiculous.

"Well... You barged into my yard, scared my dog. I don't feel safe in my home anymore. I think I should be compensated."

"Oh Jaesus please don't call the police. Fock, I'm sorry."

"No, no. I'm not pressing charges. I figure you can buy me dinner and we'll be even. Sound like a deal?" He extending his hand, both to shake and to help the smaller man to his feet. "I'm Mark, by the way."