On April 14th, 2014 I sat down to watch the MTV Music Awards. I loved watching award shows. At the time, I was 12 and I wanted to watch anything that had the slightest possibility of mentioning One Direction.
During the show, a band called Twenty One Pilots performed a song called Car Radio. I was shocked. I was like "I have never heard of this band and they're on an award show". I thought I knew any band alive. Boy was I wrong.
Their performance was terrifying. The two members, who I soon learned to be Tyler and Josh, and the whole crowd were wearing white ski masks until they took them off in the middle of the set. They were singing a song about their car radio being stolen. I thought they were absolutely crazy.
But, I knew I was hypnotized by the ski masks and I wasn't actually hearing the true meaning of the song. So, after their performance, during a commercial break of course, I got on YouTube and searched the song Car Radio. I actually paid attention to the lyrics and I fell in love.
Now, over two years later, my 15 year old self is still madly in love with this band. They've changed my life. They've saved my life.
I become depressed in January 2015. I was 13. I was always sad, but their music helped me see the purpose in life and that I was not alone and they made me know that they cared about me.
October 2015, at this time, my depression had worsen, I had anxiety, and on top of that, I developed a binge eating disorder. I hated myself. I wanted to die, but as I said before, their music helped me through that dark place. I'm still in this dark place but Tyler and Josh are still getting me through it.
At first, it was just the music that was getting me through it, until November 6th, 2015. That day was horrible. I couldn't keep going. I had my music on shuffle and I was ready to end my life. As I was thinking of what write for my note, Truce came on my music. The words hit me. Stay Alive. Stay Alive, for me. I stopped. That made me change my attitude. I stayed alive, but I had to thank them for it. I went to my notes in my phone and typed a heartfelt thank you to the band. I k ew it was a long shot they'd see it, but I posted it to Twitter. At least it was out there. A few hours after I posted it, Josh not only liked the tweet, but he also dmed me saying "Thanks for the note Megan, stay strong." I was over the moon.
From them on, that dm saved me. There were many times where I was completely done, but I reread the dm and knew I had to stay strong.
Some days were so utterly horrible and I had no one to talk to. So I started to rant in Josh's DMS. I didn't think he'd reply, it was just that I needed to let it out and had no one. It's became an everyday thing, I'd have a bad day and just rant to Josh. I never got a reply, until April 4th, 2016. I had my Twitter name as "sad Megan" and that's why e called me.
After my long rant, he replied "try and stay happy, sad Megan. I'm sorry like can be tough. keep trying to push through it. -sad Josh." And boy, I kept pushing through it. And again, on May 30th, after telling Josh good luck on the upcoming tour , I was surprised to find a "hey thanks sad Megan. Hope to meet ya sometime. Hope you're well, mentally and otherwise. " in my DMS.
"Hope to meet ya sometime" sounds like something someone would say to an internet friend, but it had a whole different meaning to me. It gave me something to hope for. I hoped to meet him sometime as well. I look forward to that day. I'm determined to make it happen.
Josh and Tyler are constantly making me happy. I plan to Stay Alive for a while longer.
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